“No. I flew and rented a car. For eight hundred dollars.”
“That is crazy.”
“For you, since you’re insisting on paying me back.”
I smiled. “You are amazing.”
She rolled her eyes. “Can we avoid going over the obvious? There is a time crunch. I have fifty minutes until I have to catch a flight back to Los Angeles.”
“You don’t want to stay for the harvest party?”
She cradled her stomach. “Sweetie, if I can’t drink, it may as well be the dentist.”
Suzannah and I walked through the vineyard. “So let’s start with what matters, okay?”
I nodded.
“What on earth are you wearing and why are you wearing it?”
I looked down at the jean shorts and peasant top I’d found in my closest, my hair in two loose buns. “This is how we dress in Sonoma County. It’s casual.”
She pointed at her own dress. “No, this is casual,” she said. “That is circa 1971. Pull it together!”
I smiled. “Working on it.”
“Good, because I have some advice for you, and it isn’t easy.”
“Okay.”
“I know I said you should marry Ben, but I thought about it and you shouldn’t marry Ben. You’re doing the right thing walking away.”
“What are you talking about?”
She linked her arm through mine. “I’m talking about how Charles cheated on me in high school. I’m talking about how that was its own form of betrayal I had to get over.”
“But that was your evidence for why I should stay with Ben.”
“I know, which is my point. I could forgive Charles because I knew I never would have to compete for him, not really.” She shook her head. “I knew he really believes, as ridiculous as it is, that I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. That I’m his have-to-have.”
She paused.
“I don’t think Ben is yours.”
That stopped me. “Why not?”
She squeezed my arm tighter. “I always thought Ben got you, that you guys got each other. That’s why I’ve given him so much latitude with all of this, but . . I think if you came to that same conclusion, you’d know that you want to stay with Ben.”
“I do.”
“What do you mean you do?” she said.
“We’re working things out.”
She stopped walking. “What are you talking about, working things out?”
I shrugged, thinking about how to explain it to her, which was when she got there.
“He’s your have-to-have?” she said.
I smiled, thinking about how I trusted that he was again. I was letting go enough to do it, to try to be happy.
“So you’re all good?” she said.
“Well, apparently I’m throwing out these shorts, but yes.”
“Good,” she said. “That’s good.
She looked in the direction of her rental car, realizing something else. “I got on a plane and drove from San Francisco for nothing? You’re going to have to do a better job of keeping me posted.”
The Harvest Party
It made me happy and sad at once, looking down over the party.
From the upstairs bathroom, I could see people arriving, the bluegrass band playing them in. The tent was lit up with lanterns, tables inside lined with pizza and wine, gourmet pizza but pizza all the same—a tribute to the early harvest parties when that was all my parents could afford to serve. Tonight felt glamorous under the lanterns. Everyone was happy and excited to celebrate another harvest. My father’s last harvest. It looked, I imagined, how my wedding might.
Ben had left a note on the mirror, fogged into the glass. COME DOWN SOON.
I touched it with my hand. Then I checked out my reflection, smoothing down my purple dress, my hair pulled back off my face in a low ponytail. After the chaos of the last few days, I was surprised to find that it hadn’t taken me down. Maybe it was the break from the ninety-hour work weeks, but there was no denying it. I looked relaxed and happy.
I heard a soft knock and looked up to find my father standing in the bathroom doorway, looking handsome in his white button-down shirt and dark pants, holding out a sprig of lavender, like a bouquet.
“Here you go.”
I smiled. “That’s for me?”
He handed over the flower. “That’s for you,” he said. “If you’ll escort me downstairs.”
“I’d love that, but I should be asking you. How’re you doing?”