Right now the only thing that felt worse, though, was knowing what moving in with the Pruitts would mean. It would force me to see Matt even less. There would be no late-night sneaking into my bedroom. Or coming over for dinner. I’d be living with Isabella…the one person that wouldn’t allow our relationship. She’d take Matt away from me for good. And he was the only thing holding me together.
But there was nothing to say. Matt knew it too. He was doing everything he could to fix it. So I just had to wait. But I’d never been good at that. I’d never been good at wasting time. Because time was the only thing that was limited.
I started to cry harder. I cried for my uncle. I cried for my mother. And I cried for myself too. Because it was then that I realized that I had been wasting time. I’d been taking life for granted. The one thing I knew for sure I couldn’t. I’d wasted away the time I had with my uncle. My last real home. My last real semblance of normal. It was gone before I ever really got a chance to appreciate it. And now I had to spend all my foreseeable time with a family I hated. A family who might have secrets worse than their cruelty. A family everyone who loved me tried to protect me from.
“He knew that you loved him,” Matt said and kissed the top of my head. “He knew.”
I was too embarrassed to tell him that I was mostly crying because I was scared.
Chapter 5
Friday
Felix was great at making me laugh. But the thought of going to gym and running when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry made me actually feel ill. Besides, I didn’t need anyone else staring at me with concern. Kennedy kept poking me during English and asking if I was okay. And I was tired of putting on a smile and lying. I wasn’t okay. I wasn’t even a little bit okay. I couldn’t focus in class. I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen after school today. I felt paralyzed.
The nurse smiled at me when I made my way into her office. “Oh my, your face is so pale. Tell me what hurts.”
“It’s just cramps,” I said and sat down on one of the beds. It was the second time I’d come in here with the lie. Eventually she’d have to catch on. But I just hoped she wouldn’t today. I made a show of lying down as I clutched my stomach. Please let me stay here for the rest of the day. Scratch that. The rest of the year would be preferable. Maybe I could just sleep here too. It would be better than living with the Pruitts.
She nodded at me, but this time she didn’t hand me a Midol or a glass of water. “Cramps again?” she asked.
Apparently the gig of fake periods was up. I didn’t even know what to say. I didn’t have enough energy to continue with the lie or make up a new one. So I just lay there and tried not to cry. Maybe she’d think I was depressed and just leave me alone. But I had no such luck.
She sat down on the bed next to me. “Your uncle was a great man.”
Did she think this was going to help me? I closed my eyes tight, trying to keep the tears at bay.
“I think that maybe a visit to the counselor might be better than camping out here. I can write you a note if you want.”
I kept my eyes closed. “I just need a few minutes,” I said. “Then I’ll go back to class, I promise.”
She patted my shin. “Okay, dear. A nap always makes me feel better too.”
The mattress shifted when she stood up. And I waited until I heard her typing on her computer before I let myself cry as silently as I could.
***
When she patted my shin again, I jolted awake. A few minutes had definitely turned into a lot more. My stomach growled and she smiled.
“Lunch is about to start,” she said. “How about you go get some food. If you want you can even bring it back here.”
I wiped the sleepy out of my eyes as I sat up. “No, that’s okay.” A normal lunch actually sounded really great right now. Felix could make me laugh without the run. And Kennedy and I could talk without having to whisper. It was exactly what I needed.
Before I could leave she handed me a slip of paper. It was an appointment with the school counselor.
“If you can’t make that time work, just stop by her office and she’ll reschedule you.”
“Yeah.” I shoved it into my blazer pocket without even looking at the time on the sheet. I didn’t need a school counselor. I wasn’t worried about grades or getting into the right college. I was worried about sleeping in enemy territory and not having any family left. “Thanks.” I hurried out of her office before she had a chance to reply.