I wasn’t at all surprised when I heard the bathroom door open. Kennedy had already been running after me.
“I’m so stupid,” I said, moving my hands to cover my face. “I didn’t see that coming at all. I’m just as na?ve as she said. I can’t stay at her house. I can’t live with the Pruitts.” I wasn’t even sure she could hear me through my sobs. “My uncle didn’t want me to. He wanted me to stay with your mom. She said she signed all the forms. I don’t understand why he’s doing this to me.”
I jumped when someone’s hand that was absolutely not Kennedy’s touched my back.
I looked up at Felix. I was surprised at how relieved I was. Because if it had been Matt, I was pretty sure I’d punch him in his perfect face. He was the real reason I felt stupid. He’d just…sat there. He sat there and did nothing. And I wasn’t even sure I was surprised. It wasn’t like it was the first time Matt had let me down.
“You’re not stupid. You’re perfect, newb.”
Perfect? I was a freaking mess. But I loved that he saw me that way. Because I’d lost everyone in my life that thought I was perfect. I threw myself into his arms before I had a chance to second guess anything.
He held me tight, like he was the only thing holding me together. And maybe he was.
Being in his arms felt so safe. So warm. So loving. I closed my eyes tight and tried to hold on to this moment. Because I knew I’d need it. If I had to go to the Pruitts’ tonight, I needed any happiness I could hold on to.
He ran his hand up and down my back. “And I know you probably thought I was Kennedy, but you know you can stay at my house any time you want. My mom wouldn’t care. My parents are never around.”
“I may have to take you up on that offer,” I mumbled into his chest.
He continued to rub his hand up and down my back. “Stay with me tonight then.”
I pulled back from him so I could see his face. Before my life turned upside down, I’d told him I wanted to be friends. He’d agreed, but he said he’d wait for me. For whenever I was ready to be more than friends again. He didn’t know about Matt. And I couldn’t correct him because Matt said our relationship needed to be a secret. Hell, I’d even said yes to going to homecoming with Felix. But I’d also said I’d go with Matt. And I hadn’t sorted any of it out because I could barely breathe, let alone think about any of that.
I thought my heart couldn’t hurt anymore. But I was wrong. My life was a mess. Everything was a mess. And I was too worn out to fix anything right now. “I’ll call you if I can,” I said. I wasn’t sure where the Pruitts’ home was. I wasn’t sure if I’d have access to a phone. But if I was able to leave, I’d go to Felix. I didn’t care whether we were dating or not. I just cared that he cared. And I needed him right now. I needed him so badly.
He wasn’t my best friend. Or my boyfriend. He was somewhere stuck in between, and maybe that was why it was so easy to share my darkest fears with him. “I lost my mom. And my uncle. I don’t have anyone anymore. I’m alone. I’m all alone.”
He pulled me back into his arms and rested his chin on the top of my head. “You have me.”
I felt my body start to shake with my tears. Felix’s words just made me miss my uncle more. You have me. It’s exactly what my uncle had told me when I’d needed him.
“Is that really so bad?” he asked.
I laughed through my tears.
“And you have Kennedy. If there’s one thing I know about Kennedy, it’s how fiercely she loves. You have her.”
“I wasn’t crying because you’re one of the only people I can rely on. I’m crying because you offering to be that person is really overwhelmingly sweet. And I don’t deserve it. All I do is cry recently.”
“Well maybe if you didn’t skip gym class I could get you to smile again. Me making you laugh is kinda our thing.”
“I’m sorry. I was hiding out in the nurse’s office. I wasn’t ready to come back here. Everything reminds me of him.”
He held me as my tears started to subside. “I know.” He ran his hand up and down my back again until I was finally breathing normally.
“Thank you,” I mumbled into his chest. “For coming after me.”
“I had to race Kennedy, but because of you I’m pretty fast now.”
I laughed and looked up at him. “I guess you’re welcome?”