I never liked safe, anyway.
“Then what am I?”
“Huh?” I’m so completely taken aback that no other words come out.
“If I’m not your keeper, what am I?”
My dad’s best friend. But I don’t want to say that, because I hate it. I hate that it’s all he’ll ever be.
“A friend?” I try.
“I don’t do friends.”
“But you have Aspen.”
“Aspen and I work together and we’re close in age. Do you fall into that category?”
I twist my lips, wiping my clammy palm against my denim shorts.
“Do you, Gwyneth?”
Damn it and him and Aspen. And what’s with his need to have an answer to every question he poses? The dictator.
“No, I don’t. But age is only a number, you know. Just because I’m younger doesn’t mean I can’t work or be friends with you. Those things can be changed.”
“No, they can’t.”
“Yes, they can.” I plant my feet wide apart.
“Let’s say they can. That won’t be happening in the near future. So what does it make me now?”
“You.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, just you. I don’t need a category to stuff you into. You’re just Nate.”
“That’s not true, though, is it?” He motions at my smartwatch and I stare at it, thinking maybe it melted by being in his presence, because that’s how it feels sometimes. Like I’m the helpless star in the sun’s orbit and my only destiny is to burn.
“What time is it?”
“Eleven, why?”
“Where were you supposed to be an hour ago, Gwyneth?”
“Oh.”
“Oh isn’t a place. Where were you supposed to be?”
“At City Hall.”
“Why?”
“To get married.”
“And were you there?”
“You know the answer to that.”
“I need you to say it. Were you there?”
“No, but that’s because I came here and forgot about the time…”
“Stop.”
My insides jolt and I swear something is being rearranged near my gut, because that single word holds so much authority that it strikes me to my bones.
“Don’t do that again,” he says.
“Do what?”
“Blurt out words without thinking. Excuses are for the weak, especially if they’re not backed up by evidence or valid reasons.”
“I did have a valid reason.”
“I’m listening.”
“I told you earlier. I didn’t want to be a burden.”
“And I told you that’s not the case. So that’s all cleared up.”
“I guess.”
“I guess is neither a yes nor a no.”
“The world isn’t only yes or no. There are “I guess” moments—maybes, the unsure. Nuances and all of that.”
“And all of that, huh?” he repeats with a slight twitch in his lips. It’s the unicorn half-smile. The one he never offered me after I stupidly thought I could kiss him and get away with it.
“Uh-huh, and I have a lot of them.”
“A lot of what?”
“Nuances and all of that.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He tips his chin toward the door. “Now, let’s go. We’re late.”
The wedding ceremony.
Ours. Mine and Nate’s.
My cheeks burn so hot, I’m surprised I don’t go up in flames or explode or something equally embarrassing. Because, holy shit, this is actually happening.
How does someone react to being married to their one-time crush, who they kind of got over—but not really—and who also happens to be their dad’s best friend?
Because I think I need a manual or something. One that doesn’t make me act like the age he so obviously disregards.
“Yeah, okay. Sure.”
“Those are three words for the same thing.”
“So?” My voice sounds a little bit squeaky and kind of breathy.
He pauses, that line returning to his forehead. “Are you nervous?”
“No! I can handle this.”
“Are you sure? Because if you’re not feeling well, we can—”
“I’m not a child, Nate. I stopped being that a long time ago, and do you know what that means? It means I can make my own decisions and function under stress. It means I know this marriage is important, not only to protect Dad’s assets, but also those of everyone at W&S and their clients. So I can do this, okay?”