The doctor didn’t give me much hope and said it was most likely a subconscious motor reaction and doesn’t mean anything, but I don’t believe that. I’m sure Dad wants to wake up. Besides, he was welcoming me back because it’s been some time since I last visited him.
I apologized for wanting to bury him while he’s still alive. I told him that I didn’t mean to and that I just didn’t want him to abandon me like my mom did, and at that exact moment, he squeezed my hand.
So yeah, the doctor is wrong, because Dad was listening and responded to me, so I know he’s there, that he didn’t leave me.
That he’s not my mother.
My spirits shot up after that and I’ve continued to visit him almost every chance I get, telling him about my day and then working on the assignments Nate gives me.
God, he’s such a strict jerk.
A gorgeous one, but a jerk nonetheless. He has no chill whatsoever when it comes to work—even though he doesn’t mind ordering me around on his desk or on his sofa to eat my pussy as he says. It stopped being mine the moment he called it his.
But other than that, he doesn’t take it easy on me. Hell, he can be difficult on purpose, because he’s an asshole like that.
I know Nate’s character enough to not have any misconceptions about getting preferential treatment, but the least he can do is treat me like the other partners do their interns. I don’t see any of them being given a hard time like I am.
It’s a bit different when we’re home alone. He comes to watch me bake now and doesn’t mind the loud music, I don’t think. And I’ve been on a mission to find him a hobby, so over the last week we played card games, board games, and all the games I could think of. I lost every time, and Nate was like, “Next.” So we watched a selection of movies and did outdoorsy activities, such as picnics and camping in the garden. I don’t think he cared for any of them, but he indulged me. All while telling me to give up already.
I won’t.
It’s not okay that he enjoys nothing. So I’ll find him something as a token of my gratitude for all the happiness he’s bringing me these days.
And orgasms.
Dirty, dirty orgasms.
Now, if the feeling that something is wrong would leave, I’d be more at ease thinking about everything that’s right. But it keeps getting worse with each passing hour. Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen Nate today.
Last night I fell asleep on his lap while we were watching a horror movie. As I told Nate, I’ve never been the type to run away from what terrifies me.
I still sometimes hide in my closet with my notebook, but I haven’t done that a lot lately.
Something else I haven’t had much trouble with as of late is insomnia, because I slept like a baby after I used his thigh as a pillow.
I woke up in my bed alone, and no, I wasn’t disappointed. Okay, maybe a tiny bit.
Anyway, when I went downstairs, he was already gone. Martha said he went to work early this morning and when I found that he’d left me a Post-it Note that said “Eat your breakfast,” I hid it in my pocket as I did just that. Not that I’m collecting his notes. Fine, I totally am.
And then when I got to W&S, he wasn’t here either. Grace said he had off-site meetings today.
So maybe that’s what the bad feeling is all about. The fact that I haven’t seen him at all today. It’s crazy to think I survived with catching glimpses of him in the past, but not seeing him for a whole day is messing up my equilibrium.
“Earth to Gwen,” a male voice calls.
I snap out of my daze and focus on Chris and Jane. We’re having lunch together in the IT department because we’re the cool kids and don’t care about the crowd in the cafeteria. And because Jane doesn’t like it when there are too many people. It makes her super fidgety and awkward, so Chris and I aren’t going to leave her alone.
“Finally back to the world of the living?” he asks.
“I’ve been here all along,” I lie through my teeth.
“No, you haven’t.”
“Yeah, you haven’t been.” Jane takes a bite of her sandwich.
“Hey! Whose side are you on, Jane?”
“No one’s?”
I bump her shoulder with mine. “I found you first, you know. Chris is extracurricular.”
“Who are you calling extracurricular?” He steals my fries and throws them in his mouth before I can stop him.
“You!”
“Lies. You love me, Gwen.”
“Maybe I’d just love to hit you right now.”