He’s judging me now with his light eyes that are covered by the glasses, and for a moment, I think it’s over.
For a moment, I think he’ll reach out, pluck off my fake glasses, poke out my contact lenses, and drag me back by my hair.
A man steps in front of him. He’s scrawnier, shorter, and has feminine looks, but he never fooled me. Behind that appearance hides one of the most lethal human weapons. Aleksander. Another pirate whose purpose is to guard Kirill.
He’s the one who told me to watch where I’m going, and he’s also the one who’s glaring down at me.
I’m under both their scrutiny now and I wish the earth would open up and swallow me.
I wish I’d stayed in the bathroom.
I wish I’d never come here.
Hell, at this moment, I wish I was never born.
“What are you looking at?” Aleksander asks in his not-so-deep yet threatening voice.
I can’t stop staring at them, can’t stop the shaking, the heart pounding. All of it.
This is a meltdown, isn’t it? I’m going to have it in front of them and destroy everything.
“This little insolent piece of shit…” Aleksander reaches out for me and I can see it, his hand, the violence it promises, but I can’t move. I’m unable to.
And then he’s grabbing me by the collar and lifting me up. My feet leave the ground and my throat closes with his savage grip, blocking my air.
My nails find his arm in a desperate attempt to peel him off me, but that only manages to make him tighten his choke-hold on me, bringing tears to my eyes.
Shit.
Shit.
I stare at Kirill, who’s right beside him, watching the scene without moving a muscle. As if he’s bored and his guard is providing him his daily dose of entertainment.
Aleksander shakes me so that my attention slides back to him. “You don’t look at him, you don’t cross his path. You apologize for disturbing him, or I will bury you where no one can find you.”
I’m about to call their names, to beg, but I don’t. If I do, for what purpose did I come this far? Why am I here?
Something moves in my peripheral vision and then Aleksander is forced to let me go.
I’m on the ground again, a strong hand holding me by the shoulder, and warmth I haven’t been able to forget surrounds me.
My eyes sting and my lungs burn with the unhealthy amount of air I’ve inhaled in such a short time. But none of that matters, because all I can focus on is the man standing beside me.
The man who’s turned my life upside down so many times but still holds it in balance.
“I have the entire scene recorded, so prepare to pay a hefty settlement when she sues for assault.”
I stare up at him, at Knox, the man who’s not even supposed to be here, but he’s holding me by the shoulders and speaking on my behalf.
And just like that, the tears I held in for so long gather in my lids.
“Knox?” I whisper.
“Don’t worry, beautiful.” He winks down at me. “I’ll protect you.”
14
KNOX
I’ve had people look at me in different ways.
Some have pitied me, others have had expectations of me, and even those closest to me, such as my family, have had questions in their eyes about me. Sometimes it’s worry. Other times, curiosity.
But no one has ever looked at me the way Anastasia is right now. As if she were falling down a bottomless well and I pulled her out.
As if she were choking and I gave her back her air.
She’s wheezing, a full-body shudder gripping her. Her shoulders tremble beneath my hand and her lips are twitching. I don’t have to see the look in her eyes beneath the glasses to know she’s falling into a loop.
That she’s out of her element and way out of her comfort zone.
When Christoph mentioned that he’d be having lunch at this restaurant, I guessed that he’d be accompanied by Gwen and Anastasia—or Jane, as they know her. The three of them have become close over the last couple of weeks, almost inseparable.
So whenever I want information about her, all I have to do is drop ambiguous questions to Christoph and he happily answers them all. Though I’m a bit annoyed that she spends more time with him than me.
Fine, not annoyed. It’s way more than that.
The game Anastasia and I started to play was supposed to make me get over her, remove her from my system and allow me to finally move on, but it’s only made the fire burn hotter, stronger.
Instead of purging her, I’ve been engraving her in, searching for every moment I can catch a glimpse of her. Even if she’s only passing by.