I’m a carbon copy of her, whether it’s the white-blonde hair, the deep blue eyes, or the tiny features. But she always looked broken, tired, almost as if she was exhausted of existing.
Mom wasn’t the type to smile, but she has a small smile in the picture as she stares at me. Babushka is grinning, too, her entire attention also on me.
These two women loved me unconditionally and if fate had worked in different patterns, I would’ve been able to recreate this image.
The more I continue staring at the picture, the more it anchors me, giving me a sense of safety.
“I’ll always be with you, even when I’m far away, Ana.” That’s what my mother used to say and as a child, I could feel her close, near me.
Now, too.
And I have to do the right thing. I have to be there for Sandra, even while knowing who stands with her father.
Even while knowing that I could be compromised.
But I can’t just abandon someone who’s asking for help. How is that any different from abandoning my own mom?
After hiding the phone, I walk to the bathroom, where I expect Sandra to be. However, I find her near the window, grabbing her chest and leaning forward.
I hurry toward her, then stop a safe distance away so I don’t startle her. “Are you okay?”
She slowly lifts her head, the tears still streaming down her cheeks. “Uh…yeah…I think so.”
“I know he was harsh, but he’s really good at what he does, so trust the process, okay?”
“Maybe he’s right. If I…can’t handle this with people who are on my side, how am I going to do in court? In front of him? I’m going to make a fool out of myself, aren’t I?”
“No, don’t say that.” I approach her slowly. “You are a brave girl, Sandra. Not many are as brave as you and that deserves to be worn as a badge of honor.”
A small smile peeks through the tears. “Thank you for saying that.”
“It’s not just words. I believe them.”
“Why?”
“Because…my mother was abused when I was younger and I didn’t have the power to protect her. There hasn’t been a day in my life where I didn’t blame myself for being useless, but there’s one thing I don’t regret.”
Her lips part. “What?”
“Asking for help when I could, even if it was from someone who’s cold.”
“Cold like Knox?”
“Worse. But you know, people like them bring in results. They’re well aware of how jerks think and can counter them efficiently, so you’re in good hands.”
“Really? Should I trust him?”
I don’t miss the hesitation in her voice, the way she hugs herself and touches her elbows. So I don’t think twice when I say, “You should.”
“Do you trust him?”
“With anything legal? I do.”
She sniffles, so I reach into my pocket, then give her a tissue. Sandra wipes her tears and peeks at me through her long lashes. “You’ll be there during the whole trial, right?”
I gulp. Being in court means the possibility of running into someone from my previous life, and that sure as hell isn’t going to happen. “I’m from the IT department so I really shouldn’t be around.”
“Please.” She clutches my hands. “You’re the only friendly face I know. I already asked Knox and he agreed to have you on the team.”
“I’ll do whatever I can. So even if I’m not there in person, I’ll call you prior to the trial. You can also call me whenever you like.”
“Thank you.” Her eyes shine with fresh tears.
“We…should probably go back.”
Her smile falls, but she tightens her hold on my hand while we walk back to Knox’s office.
We find Lauren, Chris, and him deep in conversation about the case. They’re throwing around legal terms that I don't recognize and at such a fast pace that I can't keep up.
When they finally notice us, they halt their conversation.
Lauren smiles and Chris releases a long breath, but Knox doesn’t act the least bit relieved. If anything, he appears calm, way too calm, as if the episode didn’t happen in the first place.
His eyes meet mine for a brief second. They’re sharp and dark, as if I’m staring into the haunted soul of a completely different person.
The moment barely lasts before he slides his attention to Sandra. “We’ll resume where we left off. If you run away again, you can find yourself another attorney.”