* * *
He should be reveling in all the newfound attention, but to our mutual surprise, the only attention he seems to want is mine.
* * *
He’s turning our formerly innocent nightly chats into X-rated phone calls. Our playful banter sports a new, dangerous edge.
* * *
I want to assume he’s playing a prank on me, just pushing my buttons like always—but when Ian lifts me onto the desk in my classroom and slides his hands up my skirt, he doesn’t leave a lot of room for confusion.
* * *
I’m a little scared of things going south, of losing my best friend because I can’t keep my hands to myself. So, I’m just going to back away and not return this earth-shattering kiss—oh who am I kidding?!
* * *
Goodbye Ian, ol’ buddy, ol’ pal!
* * *
Helloooo mister not so nice guy.
Chapter 1
Samantha
This morning, we’re having sex inside the army barracks again. It’s hot and heavy. The enemy is advancing—we might not make it out alive. Explosions rumble in the sky and in my pants. I’m sweating. Ian started out wearing camo fatigues, but I ripped them off with my teeth. That’s how I know I’m dreaming—my mouth isn’t that skillful. In real life, I’d chip a tooth on his zipper.
My alarm clock fires another warning shot. My waking mind shouts, Get up or you’re going to be late! I burrow deeper under my covers and my subconscious wins out. Dream Ian tosses me over his shoulder like he’s trying to earn a Medal of Honor and then we crash against a metal bunkbed. Another indication that this is a dream is the fact that the fleshy part of my butt hits the corner of the bunk yet it doesn’t hurt. He grinds into me and the frame rattles. I scrape my fingers down his back.
“We’re going to get caught, soldier,” I moan.
His mouth covers mine and he reminds me, “This is a war zone—we can be as loud as we want.”
A staccato burst of machine-gun fire erupts just outside. Heavy boots begin stomping toward the locked door.
“Quick, we’ll have to barricade it!” I implore. “But how? There’s nothing useful in here, just that standard-issue leather whip and my knee-high combat boots!”
He hauls me up against the door and we lock eyes. The wordless solution suddenly becomes clear: we’ll have to use our own writhing bodies as a sexy blockade.
“Okay, every time they kick the door, I’m going to thrust, got it? On the count of three: one, two—”
Just as my dream gets to the good part, my phone starts blaring “Islands in the Stream” by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. Cool 80s country pop serenades me at max volume. There are synthesizers. I groan and jerk my eyes open. Ian changed my ringtone again. He does it to me every few weeks. The song before was another silly throwback tune by two old kooks.
I reach out for my phone and bring it beneath the covers with me.
“Yeah yeah,” I answer. “I’m already showered and heading out the door.”
“You’re still in bed.”
Ian’s deep, husky voice saying the word “bed” does funny things to my stomach. Dream Ian is blending with Real Life Ian. One is a hunky lieutenant with arms of steel. The other is my best friend whose arms are made of a metal I’ve never had the pleasure of feeling.
“Dolly Parton this time? Really?” I ask.
“She’s an American treasure, just like you.”
“How do you even come up with these songs?”
“I keep a running list on my phone. Why are you breathing so hard? It sounds like you’re over there fogging up a mirror.”
Oh god. I sit up and shake off the remnants of my dream.
“I fell asleep to reruns of M*A*S*H again.”
“You know they’ve continued making television shows since then.”
“Yes, well, I’ve yet to find a man who titillates me like Hawkeye.”
“You know Alan Alda is in his 80s right?”
“He’s probably still got it.”
“Whatever you say, Hot Lips.”
I groan. Just like with Major Houlihan, that nickname annoys me…kind of.
I sweep the blankets aside and force my feet to the ground. “How long do I have?”
“First bell rings in thirty minutes.”
“Looks like I’ll have to skip that 10-mile morning run I was planning.”
He laughs. “Mhmm.”
I start rummaging through my closet, looking for a clean dress and cardigan. Our school’s employee wardrobe requirements force me to dress like the female version of Mr. Rogers. Today, my sundress is cherry red and my cardigan is pale pink, appropriate for the first day of February.