Scud, his whole mind was lit up with fear. I watched through his eyes as Alanik caught the lifebuster with her light hook and disappeared, taking it up into the vacuum.
She’s got it, Arturo said. He was wound tight, and I almost asked Juno to read him a meditation.
It wouldn’t help. Not in a situation like this. I could feel the others, I realized. Kimmalyn, Nedd, T-Stall, Catnip—all of us holding our breath. They wouldn’t relax until—
I felt Alanik emerge on the other side of the battlefield. She’s back, I said.
The lifebuster flashed across the sky with its three distinct explosions. I felt profound relief, not only from Arturo but from all of us. We could do this now. We should still load that ship for evac just in case, but without that bomb—
Oh, scud.
I watched in horror as the Superiority ships began to scatter, spreading out away from the island. There were more carrier ships in the sky now, belching forth more fighters, but they were all fanning out, moving away from Dreamspring. What the hell were they doing?
They’re spreading us thin, Arturo said. They know they don’t have to defeat us to win. We’re protecting Dreamspring, so they’re going to take their vengeance elsewhere.
It would work, too. They outnumbered us. If we split up, we lost our position. If the battle spread everywhere, they could circle around and fire on Dreamspring while we were out trying to protect the other cities. There weren’t enough of us. The damage would be immeasurable.
The Superiority didn’t care who they hurt, as long as they got what they wanted. We’d escaped them too many times. Now they were going to teach us a lesson.
And the kitsen were going to pay the price.
Nineteen
Arturo had our flights concentrated over Dreamspring, focusing on the ships that remained here. But it wouldn’t help the kitsen on the surrounding islands. Some of the kitsen cytonics had hyperjumped their ships after the enemy—I saw one with mindblades trying to take down a ship, another using what felt like concussion bolts to stun a flight of enemy starfighters. They were fighting valiantly, but there were so many of the enemy, and maybe more yet to arrive.
We weren’t going to be able to save everyone.
I looked up at the sky, at the relatively fewer number of ships. This wasn’t a good thing. The Superiority would destroy the outer islands and then return for Dreamspring when they were done. I couldn’t stop it.
The words of Juno’s mantra came into my mind again, although the kitsen was silent beside me.
In order to achieve control, you must first accept that you have none.
I wanted control though. I wanted to put a stop to everything terrible that was happening, to save my people, to rescue Spensa, to pull her out of the nowhere and have her with me again safe. I wanted to go back and save my parents. They’d died because they’d made a desperate gambit in hopes that they could control our fate, make a better world for me, for all of us.
They failed. They couldn’t control it. And neither could I.
I closed my eyes. In my mind, the Superiority ship exploded over and over.
Do better than we did.
We weren’t though, were we? We were trying, but failing all the same.
“Boom,” Boomslug said.
“Boom,” I answered him.
A wave of helplessness washed over me. I couldn’t stop what was coming. It would be like trying to stop a wave in the ocean. I couldn’t stop it, but I could let it wash over me and I could remain standing after it passed.
My radio flashed. Arturo’s private channel. “Amphi?” I said.
“Jerkface. What…what are we going to do?”
We needed more help, but at this point I wasn’t sure what else we could do. Against any other enemy it made sense for us to withdraw, to hope that they would have mercy on the kitsen. But I was never going to count on the Superiority’s mercy.
“Protect the city,” I said. “Send Quirk and Nedder to Detritus for more transport ships. Ask Angel if she can bring in any UrDail transport ships to evacuate other cities. We need to get as many people as we can off this planet before the Superiority musters up another one of those planetary weapons.”
“Copy,” Arturo said. He sounded as hollow as I felt. We both knew what we were about to watch. It would be the worst atrocity either of us had ever seen.
The general channel flashed. “Jerkface?” FM said. “The kitsen are boarding the transport ship. Should we send them out?”
“Is the ship full?” I asked.
“It will be soon. But…we can see the closest island, off to the dawnward side.” She’d picked up that term from Alanik, and it was helpful, I had to give the UrDail that. “The ships are firing on the island. Shouldn’t we…help them?”