Even if she chose Ezra over music, he’d have to choose her.
After everything he said, she wasn’t completely sure if he would.
50
Throughout the whole flight, Emily kept thinking about Ezra. She kept thinking about the feeling that had inspired the beginning of a song, the one she was writing, the one that was her own. She gave herself over to it, and let it grow and change. As the plane traveled farther from New York, the melody and lyrics kept evolving. She wished she had a keyboard so she could really hear it and start arranging it as she wrote. But even without a keyboard, by the end of the flight she had something.
He has love in his heart For everyone but me
He floats on a river of compassion While I swim in the sea.
When I reach for him
He just doesn’t see
Because there’s love in his heart For everyone but me And you say he’s kind
And you say he’s good
And I know it’s true
For you, for you
It wasn’t a whole song. It wasn’t even a good one. But it had a verse and a chorus. Or maybe a chorus and a bridge. She needed to work on it. But channeling her emotions into a song . . . it made everything feel like somehow it would be okay. She was transforming her pain into something else. And in doing so, she was transforming herself.
Plus, focusing on that meant she could ignore the feeling that her life was coming undone. Things were falling apart. The center was shifting off course. And she wasn’t doing anything to pull it back. At least not yet.
She might even be pushing it further afield.
51
When Emily crossed the jet bridge into the airport in Cancun, she could feel the damp warmth of the beach penetrating the building—and her, too. Her bones felt warmer. But her heart cracked a little when she realized the last time she stepped off a plane into this airport it was with Ezra by her side, a few days before their wedding. Things had felt so different then. So solid, so secure, like nothing could ever tear them apart, the threads of their relationship woven from iron. But iron rusts and crumbles. Was that what was happening now?
As she got through customs, she saw someone in a baseball cap and sunglasses holding a piece of hotel stationery with her name scrawled on it. Had Rob sent her a driver? She’d told him not to but actually wouldn’t mind not having to figure out where and how to get a taxi. She walked toward the man and realized, as she got closer, that Rob hadn’t sent anyone. It was him under the MEX baseball cap and aviators. He broke out in a grin when he spotted her moving in his direction.
“Bienvenidos a Cancún,” he said, when she was within earshot.
Emily started to laugh. Her question at the pizza place had been answered. “So you’re getting recognized now?” she whispered.
“It’s been getting worse at each tour stop,” he said under his breath. “There was a crowd waiting for me when we landed this time around. Diana insisted I wear a disguise to come get you. Thank goodness for hotel sundry stores.”
“Diana’s the tour manager I met in New York?” she asked. “The woman who asked me to come backstage?”
Rob nodded. “Did you check a bag?”
“It was a bit of a spur-of-the-moment decision,” Emily said. “So I haven’t got much. I’ll need to buy something to perform in. And maybe some flip-flops.”
Rob nodded. “Our car is outside. We can make a stop before we get to the hotel—there’s a little shopping village in the hotel zone.”
Emily and Rob walked outside, where a black Suburban was waiting for them. The driver got out as they got closer and opened the door.
“Thanks,” Emily said, as she got inside. Then she looked at Rob, who was taking off his hat and sunglasses. “Do you always have a personal driver now?” she asked quietly, so the driver wouldn’t hear.
Rob shook his head. “Not always. Raúl works at the hotel. He drives people to the airport and back, sometimes out to dinner. That sort of thing.”
Emily nodded, impressed—and also proud of Rob that he’d gotten here, achieved what he’d dreamed of when he was in college.
“We need to make a quick stop at a shop where Emily can get some clothes,” he told Raúl. “Can we go to that little shopping village across the way?”
“Of course, sir,” Raúl said.
The seats were leather and the air conditioner was on full blast. Emily leaned back and closed her eyes.
“So what happened?” Rob asked. “Seems like something big for you to be here.”