64
When they got home, before they even stripped off their hats and gloves and scarves, Ezra caught Emily by the arm and kissed her. His lips felt cold against hers, and she knew that hers probably felt cold against his, too.
“Making music with you is very, very sexy,” he told her.
She smiled. “I hadn’t quite expected that reaction,” she said. “But I loved making music with you, too.”
He smiled. “How about this reaction?” he asked, lifting her up so she was cradled in his arms, and walking with her, scarf and hat and gloves still on, into the bedroom. As Ezra carefully took off her gloves and unzipped her boots, all she could think about was how badly she wanted him.
She reached out and pulled the zipper down on his coat. He shrugged out of it and she grabbed for the waistband of his jeans. Once they’d undressed each other, once he’d had his head in her lap and she’d had her head in his, he reached for a condom, but she stopped him. “I don’t think we need that.” She’d spoken without conscious thought. It was an instinctual choice. An impulse that felt right.
He looked her in the eye, questioning, even as he smiled. “Are you sure?”
She nodded.
He kissed her hard, laid her down, and slid inside her.
“Yes,” she said. “Yes.”
65
A few days later, after Emily spent the afternoon practicing her set in a rented studio space, she came home to find Ezra directing a man with a piano on a dolly about where to put it in their apartment.
“What’s going on in here?” she asked, fighting the urge to throw her arms around him, because it was pretty obvious that he had just bought her a piano.
“It’s your Hanukkah present,” he told her, beaming. It was a white upright that fit perfectly against the wall next to the couch.
And then Emily did throw her arms around him. “Thank you,” she said. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”
He hugged her back. “I actually think I do,” he said.
66
A couple of weeks later, Ari came to Manhattan and met Emily in SoHo to go clothes shopping.
“So what are we looking for?” she asked.
“Something simple, but cool, and not trying too hard,” Emily said. “For the show, I want to look like a fancier version of me.”
The sisters were carrying hot chocolates in their gloved hands, window-shopping on Houston Street.
“Do you have a store in mind?” Ari asked.
Emily shook her head. “I’ll know it when I see it,” she said. “How are things going on your end? How was your ski weekend?” Ari and Jack had just taken the boys up to Vermont.
“It was fun,” Ari said. “The boys are turning into such real people now. We let them ski together without us for an afternoon, and Jack and I got some time alone. I told him I was thinking about going back to work. And wanted to plan a trip to Egypt. He said we should go for our anniversary and leave the boys with his mom. I think we’re going to do it.”
“That’s so awesome,” Emily said, smiling at her sister. “What about work?”
Ari bit her lip. “I applied for a leave replacement this morning. One of the math teachers at the public high school near us is going on maternity leave next month. The job would go through the rest of the year. I don’t know if I’ll get it, but I’m excited.”
Emily threw her arms around Ari. “I’m so excited for you!” she said. “Even if you don’t get it, I’m so excited you tried.”
Ari hugged her sister back. “Me too,” she said. “What about you? How are things with you and Ezra?”
Emily took a sip of her hot chocolate. “We’re trying again.” She almost hated saying it, as if the words would somehow tempt bad luck.
“Oh, Em. I’m happy for you. For both of you. So the plan would be to have a baby before booking a tour?” Ari said. “And then bring a nanny on the road? Ezra’s okay with that?”
Emily thought about the logistics and closed her eyes for a brief moment. She didn’t have a plan, just two dreams she was trying to meld into one. There was no guarantee she would get pregnant right now. And there was no guarantee she could book venues, either. That she’d even be able to tour. “I think we’re just going to take it all day by day,” Emily said. “And if I’m lucky enough to have a baby and a tour, well, we’ll figure it out then.”
Ari nodded. “I’m planning too far ahead,” she acknowledged.