She looked away, feeling rather stupid. “I don't know. Marriage is so permanent. What if I make a mistake?”
“If it's a mistake then you've already made it,” he said with a glance toward the bed. “But it isn't a mistake. Marriage won't always be easy, but life without you—” He ran his hand through his hair, his face showing his inability to put his thoughts into words. “Life without you would be impossible. I don't know how else to say it.”
Victoria chewed on her lower lip, aware that she was coming to feel the same way. For all that he'd put her through during this past month, she couldn't quite imagine life without his lopsided smiles, the twinkle in his eyes, or the way his hair never quite looked as if he'd brushed it properly. She looked up at him, her eyes locking with his. “I have a few reservations,” she began.
“You wouldn't be human if you didn't,” he said reassuringly.
“But I can see that there are several reasons why marriage might be a good idea.” She spoke slowly, working her words out in her head as she spoke. She shot a quick glance at Robert, half expecting him to yank her into another crushing embrace. But he remained still, clearly understanding that she needed to speak her mind.
“First of all,” Victoria said, “as you pointed out, there is the matter of a child. It was very irresponsible of me not to consider it, but I didn't and there is nothing for it now. I suppose I could simply wait a few weeks and see—”
“I wouldn't recommend that particular course of action,” Robert said quickly.
She bit back a smile. “No, I don't imagine you're going to let me go back to London, and I don't imagine that if I stay here—”
“I can't keep my hands off you,” he said with an unapologetic shrug. “I freely admit it.”
“And I won't try to lie and say that I do not”—she blushed—” enjoy your attentions. You know that I always have, even seven years ago.”
He smiled knowingly.
“But there are other reasons why we should or should not marry.”
“Should.”
She blinked. “I beg your pardon?”
“We should marry. Not should not.”
Victoria was finding it hard not to laugh. When he was eager for something, Robert was more adorable than a puppy. “I do worry that you will not let me make my own decisions,” she warned.
“I shall try to abide by your wishes,” he said, his expression solemn. “If I become an overbearing ass, I give you leave to whack me over the head with your reticule.”
Her eyes narrowed. “May I have that in writing?”
“Certainly.” He crossed the room to his writing table, opened a drawer, and whipped out a quill, a piece of paper, and a bottle of ink. Victoria stared at him openmouthed as he scribbled a sentence, then signed the bottom with a flourish. He walked back to her, handed her the paper, and said, “There you are.”
Victoria looked down and read, “If I become an overbearing ass, I give my beloved wife, Victoria Mary Lyndon Kemble—” She looked up. “Kemble?”
“It will be Kemble. Today, if I have any say.” He pointed to a scrawl at the top of the note. “I postdated the note, however, for next week. You'll be a Kemble by then.”
Victoria forebore to comment on his amazing confidence and continued reading. “Let's see…Victoria Mary Lyndon, ahem, Kemble…leave to whack me over the head with whatever object she chooses.” She glanced up questioningly. “Any object?”
Robert shrugged. “If I become a really overbearing ass, you might want to hit me with something sturdier than your reticule.”
Her shoulders shook as she turned back to the note. “Signed, Robert Phillip Arthur Kemble, Earl of Macclesfield.”
“I'm not a scholar of the law, but I think it is legal.”
Victoria's face broke into a watery smile. With an impatient hand she brushed her tears away. “This is why I'm going to marry you,” she said, holding the slip of paper in the air.
“Because I have told you that you may hit me at your discretion?”
“No,” she said, sniffling loudly, “because I don't know what will happen to me if I don't have you to tease me. I've grown too serious, Robert. I wasn't always this way.”
“I know,” he said gently.
“For seven years I wasn't allowed to laugh. I forgot how.”
“I'll remind you.”
She nodded. “I think I need you, Robert. I think I do.”