He nods, watching me closely.
“Good for you,” I rasp out. “I was supposed to get married in two months, but I broke it off before I came here.”
He slides his hands in his pockets, his expression unintelligible.
“I can see myself home. You should get back to her. I’ll figure it out.”
“Come on,” he says, moving toward me, and I shake my head, refusing him.
He pulls my keys from his pocket, gripping my elbow. I jerk my arm away and he groans out in frustration. “Just get in the fucking car, Cecelia.”
My chest screams for relief, but I know tears won’t ever be enough to alleviate the unbearable ache.
“Were you going to tell me about her?”
“No point.”
“Why? Because you knew it would hurt me? That’s what you do best.”
“This doesn’t have to get any uglier.”
“But you love seeing me in shreds. And you love to be the one to do it. So why hide her? You had to know how much it would hurt me.”
He lowers his gaze.
“Look at me, you bastard!”
Blazing eyes flick to mine. “It’s been six years, Cecelia. What did you expect?”
Not her. Anyone but her. Anyone but a woman capable of making him happy, of being the right woman at his side. Anyone but a woman who deserves him, anyone but a worthy woman. He scans the parking lot and clicks the fob to locate my rental. He wants no part of this conversation.
“She didn’t fall for or fuck your brothers,” I say, and his head snaps up. “She had a crush on Sean back when,” I continue, “but I guess that’s a minor offense compared to me.”
Agony. Pure agony. It’s nothing like I’ve ever felt, which surprises me because I thought I’d felt it all up until this point. I can only imagine it’s nothing compared to what he felt when he witnessed and heard my confessions for the two men closest to him after the fact.
I was a fool to think that my sexual exploits wouldn’t have consequences. They were fools to think so as well, but I seem to be the only one paying for them.
Either way, it’s a punishment that I. Can’t. Handle.
Not in my state, not with so much alcohol in my veins.
“I don’t know what I expected.”
Tobias comes for me as the threatening tears finally fall. “No,” I shake my head over and over. “I left my fiancé. I left my whole life…I’m so damned stupid,” I say as the first tear falls.
“Cecelia, don’t—”
“What must you think of me now,” my breath hitches as my heart scatters at my feet. “Have you ever once missed me? Have you ever wondered what would have happened between us had it all gone down a different way?”
“I’m not doing this.” He closes the space, gripping my elbow again and unlocks my rental with the fob before he ushers me inside, tossing my purse on my lap before leaning in to buckle me in. “I’ve got it,” I snap, clicking my seat belt before he rounds the car and gets behind the steering wheel.
He turns over the ignition, and I lean back cradled in the leather and just stare at him, utterly lost. I feel too damned much and always have. I don’t care if he sees it now. Let him. My foolish heart brought me here, and it’s been completely drained of all hope. So be it.
Because if he’s truly moved on, if he loves her, if he’s happy…I suffocate in my skin as I look over at him. He didn’t want me to see her, or maybe he’s glad I did. Maybe he’s never taken me seriously because of my past with his brothers. But for me, what Tobias and I had was sacred.
Exposed and raw, I watch him in the dim blue cabin light as he turns out of the parking lot and onto Main Street.
“Tobias—”
“Just go to sleep.”
“I’ve slept enough,” I sniff, as tears I can’t deny begin falling one after the other. “I was asleep my whole life until I came here.”
“Cecelia,” he sighs. “It was a long time ago. Everyone has moved on.”
I reach out and tentatively stroke his jaw with shaking fingers, unbelieving he’s sitting next to me. The minute my touch lands, his eyes close briefly. “It wasn’t that long ago. Do you love her?”
“Love,” he tilts his head, withdrawing from my touch. “It’s always about love with you.”
“That’s why all this started, isn’t it? The love of your mother, your parents, the love of your brothers, a promise to protect each other, and the ones who couldn’t protect themselves.” I swallow, my words coming out dry. “But you keep throwing me in the fire when I’m the one who loves you most.”