Insatiable lust overtakes me, and I get swept into the dark undertow allowing myself to sink within. Trapped, I feed inside the wave drinking in a new kind of air, renewed with a greedy mouth, my body swelling, opening, welcoming. I hike my legs around his hips as he glides his cock along my entrance. The thin material between us doing little to shield me from direct contact. Back arching, I’m pulsating everywhere. My breasts grow heavy, and my nipples draw tight. Clit throbbing, I clutch him to me as he bruises and conquers, his touch void of any tenderness. But I’m fine with that because I know just a hint of it would ruin me.
Mortified by the thought, I rip my lips away and gape up at him.
“S-stop,” I stutter out, terrified. He ignores my useless words as I try again to wage war on the lust that’s destroying me. He swats my fumbling hands and dips his head, biting my neck, and then my shoulder before taking the whole of my breast into his mouth, soaking the thin cotton beneath. My nipple peaks to stone as he pulls his head away, only giving enough time to lower the material with rough hands, yanking down my bra so my breasts are pulled taut in offering. He dips and sucks one into his mouth before I feel the bite as he pierces it with a sharp tooth.
A breath later, my skirt is lifted as his fingers press painfully into my thigh while I fumble with his belt. It’s the clink of a buckle that has me freezing, and in the next second I’m released abruptly. Mouth gaping, I retreat, sliding back on my ass as his predatory gaze follows. I’m sure the horror of the act I just committed is written all over my face. Chest heaving, breasts bared, I shake my head furiously as he yanks me back beneath him easily by the boot. He dips and kisses me again, his tongue coated in metal, probing, exploring all the places he should never be allowed to reach, including those untouched. When he rips his mouth away, we face-off, our ragged breathing the only sound between us.
“Tu n’y connais rien à la fidélité.” You don’t know the first thing about loyalty.
Unable to interpret fully, I know whatever venom he’s spewing is insulting. I move to slap him, and he catches my hand, biting into the flesh of my palm. I can’t hold my whimper as he again thrusts his rock-hard erection against me, the feel of his length against my soaked clit dragging me to the edge. With the next thrust of his hips, I teeter on the brink of orgasm. “Tu ne peux pas échapper à la vérité. Tu me veux.” You can’t escape the truth. You want me.
He pulls me to kneel and does the same before he grips my hands, hooking my fingers on the band of his pants. Breaths coming out like we’ve just run a marathon; I glare up at him as he raises thick brows in challenge. “Your move.”
I rip my hands away as he chuckles darkly. “I wonder how your boyfriends would feel if they knew you kissed me back.”
I did. I kissed him back and more. Far more than that.
I wanted him.
There’s no booze to blame, no scapegoat.
Inside, I wither and die. Outside, I kneel in a puddle of ruin as he shoots a smirk down at me.
“They’ll hate you.”
“Is that so? Tell me, Cecelia, where are they?”
He fastens his belt before pushing to his feet, leaving me kneeling before him. “I could’ve fucked you, and you know it. You can’t be loyal even to those who you proclaim to love.” His foreign lilt turns the word into something putrid, a complete opposition to its meaning. It’s then he drops the necklace to eye level where it dangles from his fingers, wickedly taunting. “Still think you deserve your declaration, his devotion?”
My chin wobbles, my lips painfully swollen, as I try to grapple with what just happened. “I hate you.”
“I don’t give a fuck.”
“Please,” I look away from the necklace he’s holding in an attempt to right myself, my dress, searching for the dignity he stole. “Just leave me alone.”
I can’t meet his eyes. He knows he’s won. And I’m not sure I would have been strong enough to keep my virtue safe with either of the men I swore my heart, my allegiance to. For nearly a year, I’ve been committed to them. Honored our memories, remained faithful without any inclination that my affection was returned, until tonight, until I saw that necklace. And in a matter of minutes, I ruined it.
I ruined it by kissing a monster lurking in the shadows and letting him feed off me, off my weakness.
And I participated.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Am I what he’s accusing me of? Am I just some stupid girl with a crush on two men she fooled around with last summer? Ten minutes ago, I would have said that was impossible and meant it with my whole being.