Good. Good riddance.
After leaving Triple Falls, I’ll go off to school, graduate, and dominate the field of my choice. And maybe, one day, I’ll marry and have children.
But it’s the pounding at my temple, and the gnaw in my chest that refutes that type of future. Do I want that life?
All my best-laid plans now seem simple-minded, if not a bit boring and predictable. My focus before I moved to Triple Falls had been solely on just making it through with Mom. I always dreamed of the day I’d gain my freedom, but I didn’t plan past that. Now that day is almost here, and any plan I’ve come up with recently doesn’t seem like enough for me anymore.
Pulling myself out of the bath, I dress in my pajamas and sip whiskey from the small flask I packed before I dial my mother. She answers on the second ring.
“Hey, baby girl. What are you up to?”
“I’m in Charlotte. I’ve got a meeting with Dad in the morning.”
“Oh?” She lingers on the line.
“Mom, I’m signing tomorrow.”
“You don’t sound so happy about it.”
“Money doesn’t make me happy.”
“It’s good you found that out early. But a lack of it sucks.”
“I mean, I hated it when we were broke, you know? When you worried yourself sick, but—”
“We did okay, didn’t we?” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“Five bucks worth of gas and tater tots.”
“I miss you, kid.”
“I miss you too. But I called for a reason.”
“Okay.”
“Look, I know what you’re going to say, but I need your bank account info.”
“What, honey? No. That’s all yours. It’s meant for you.”
“And I want no part of it. The son of a bitch is a multi-millionaire and made us do without for years paying the bare minimum while we scraped by. It’ll be my money and therefore my decision. I want you taken care of. And I want you…to see someone.”
“You want me to see a shrink?”
“Yes. If you think it will help. Yes…I want you to get help. I think you need it.”
“Wow. Subtlety is no longer your strong suit. What happened to my sweet little girl?”
“I’m sorry.” I sip my whiskey, thankful for the burn and the numbness that follows. “I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing, I’m fine. We’re talking about you.”
“Then I’m fine.”
“Will you stop with that shit, Mom?”
“No, I will not.”
“I am fine. I’m just…tired.”
“Same guy?” The insinuation in her voice brings all my wandering thoughts of Tobias to a crashing halt. Even if it’s my head he’s invading, he’s got me vulnerable. I hate that she can hear it.
Just like that, all my shields snap back into place.
I’m done. I’m done thinking about him. I’m done fantasizing about him.
“Mom, we’ll talk about this some other time, okay? I’m going to wire you some money as soon as the funds are transferred. Life-changing money. You be happy about it.”
“You know I can’t take money from you.”
“Then take money from Roman.”
“He’s truly not the cold-hearted man he makes himself out to be.”
“It’s much too late.”
“I don’t want his money, Cecelia.”
“What do you want from him?”
I can hear the flick of her lighter, and her exhale. “Nothing. He gave me the best thing he could ever give me.”
“Why won’t you talk about him? If you’re so determined that I give him a chance, then give me a reason to.”
“Because he’s your father.”
“Not good enough. Does he think you tried to trap him? Is that why he’s been so stingy with his money?”
“You mean baby trap him? No, no, nothing like that.”
“Then tell me what it’s like. I really would like to know. Don’t you think I deserve to know?”
“There will come a day when I’ll explain things to you, but for now, can you just try to be patient with him?”
“No,” I’m adamant. “My patience has run out. He’s given me nothing, and I’m only here…” I cut myself off mid-sentence. I don’t want her to ever know I spent my time in Triple Falls to make sure she’s taken care of.