“Why do you tell me this, Charlie?”
I didn’t know when I started—I thought that was one story I’d never tell anybody—but I knew now. “I stole your crutches. All I can say in my defense is that I had to.”
“Ah, Charlie.” She touched the side of my face. “You couldn’t be content here, anyway. You’re not of this world, you’re other, and if you don’t go back soon, you’ll find yourself unable to live in either.” She stood. “I must go. There’s much to do.”
I walked her to the door. In eighth grade, we studied haiku in English class, and one of them came back to me then. Very gently, I touched one finger to her scabbed mouth. “When there is love, scars are as pretty as dimples. I love you, Leah.”
She touched my lips as I had touched hers. “I love you, too.”
She slipped out the door and was gone.
5
The next day Eris and Jaya came to visit, both wearing coveralls and big straw hats. All who worked outside were now wearing hats, because the sun shone every day, as if to make up for the years of clouds, and everyone’s skin—not just those of us who had spent a long time in durance vile—was fishbelly white.
We had a pleasant visit. The women chattered away about the work they were doing, and I told them about my recovery, which was almost complete. None of us wanted to talk about Deep Maleen, or the Fair One, or the escape, or the night soldiers. Certainly not about the dead we’d left behind. They laughed when I told them how Stooks had swaggered in. I forbore telling them about my midnight visits from Kellin and Petra—nothing funny about those. I learned that a party of giants had come from Cratchy, to pledge fealty to the new queen.
Jaya spied my pack and knelt before it, gliding her palms over its red nylon body and black nylon straps. Eris was kneeling beside Radar and gliding her hands through her fur.
“Ooo,” Jaya said, “this is fine, Charlie. Was it made where you came from?”
“Yes.” In Vietnam, most likely.
“I’d give a dear lot to have one like.” She lifted it by the straps. “And so heavy! Can you carry it?”
“I’ll manage,” I said, and had to smile. Damn right it was heavy; along with my clothes and Radar’s monkey, it contained a solid gold door knocker. Claudia and Woody had insisted I take it.
“When do you leave?” Eris asked.
“Dora tells me that if I can walk to the city gate and back without fainting tomorrow, I can go the day after.”
“So soon?” Jaya asked. “Too bad! There are parties at night, you know, when the day’s work is done.”
“I guess you’ll have to party hearty for both of us,” I said.
That night Eris returned. She was alone, her hair was down, she was wearing a pretty dress instead of her working clothes, and she didn’t waste time. Or words. “Will you lie with me, Charlie?”
I said I would be happy to lie with her, if she would excuse any clumsiness, on account of me not having had the pleasure so far in my life.
“Lovely,” she said, and began to unbutton her dress. “You can pass on what I teach you.”
As to what followed… if it was a thank-you fuck, I didn’t want to know. And if it was a mercy fuck, all I can say is hooray for mercy.
6
I had two more visitors before I left Lilimar. Claudia came in, leading Woody by the elbow of a black alpaca coat. The scars on Woody’s eyes had loosened and pulled apart, but what I could see in the gaps was nothing but white.
“WE CAME TO WISH YOU WELL AND TO THANK YOU!” Claudia boomed. She was close to Woody’s left ear, and he pulled back with a little wince. “WE CAN NEVER THANK YOU ENOUGH, SHARLIE. THERE WILL BE A STATUE OF YOU, NEAR ELSA’S POOL. I HAVE SEEN THE DRAWINGS, AND THEY ARE QUITE—”
“Elsa’s dead with a spear in her guts.” I didn’t realize I was angry with them until I heard my voice. “Lots of people are dead. Thousands, tens of thousands for all I know. While you two sat on your hands. Leah I understand. She was blinded by love. She couldn’t bring herself to believe her brother was the one who did all this… this shit. But you two believed, you knew, and still you sat on your hands.”
They said nothing. Claudia wouldn’t look at me and Woody couldn’t.
“You were the royals, the only ones left other than Leah. The only ones that mattered, at least. They would have followed you.”
“No,” Woody said. “You’re wrong, Charlie. Only Leah could rally them. Your coming caused her to do what a queen must do—lead.”