揑t抯 good,?I decide. 揜eally good.?
揧eah. I noticed you were卻wallowing.?
I hold his gaze, but I want to look away. There抯 too much intensity hovering there for a tiny room. It wraps around me and threatens to swallow梡un intended梞e whole. 揇o you usually spend a lot of time in the pantry when you抮e visiting your father??
揇epends.?
揙n??
揌ow long I抦 stuck here total.?
揘ot many happy memories??I keep my tone light, but I抦 really asking. I haven抰 seen Crew interact with his father and brother much. At parties, they抮e usually schmoozing separately. Each socializing in their own way. Tonight, they抳e interacted more like colleagues than a close family.
揚lenty, in this pantry.?
I wrinkle my nose. 揌ow charming.?
Crew抯 mouth curl appears but quickly fades. 揑 meant with my mom. She loved baking.?The sudden stoicism dares me to ask more. Warns me not to.
揧ou never answered me about Candace.?
I expect him to accuse me of being jealous, but he doesn抰。 揥hy do you care??
I shrug. 揧ou know how people are. If there are rumors about you and your stepmother floating around at the Waldorfs?holiday party this year梩he way they were last year梚t would be nice to know how horrified of a wife I should act.?I crunch another biscuit.
揑t抯 probably a better question for Oliver.?
揜eally??I don抰 hide my surprise. The elder Kensington seems more the type not to step a toe out of line.
Crew reads it on my face. 揑 don抰 know for certain. Just that he抯 been over here while Dad is out of town.?
揇oes that surprise you??
揧es and no.?Crew sighs. 揌e抯 careful not to show it, but this厰 He gestures between me and him. 揑t should be him. Getting married first, becoming CEO, all of it.?
My face stays carefully neutral as I reply. 揇o you think he抣l do anything? Sow opposition in the board??
揘o, I don抰 think so. Oliver is rational梞aybe too rational. He sees the big picture. I don抰 think he wants to get married. I抦 not even sure if he wants to inherit CEO. It抯 the principle of it卛t all should have been his.?
Unfamiliar guilt churns my stomach. At sixteen, I didn抰 think this all the way through. I didn抰 think about the other people who would be affected by my impulsive demand梑y my exerting the little authority I had. Expending the small amount of power I抎 gained.
揧ou want it, don抰 you??I ask.
He tilts his head to look at me better. I抳e heard the gossip about Crew抯 bossiness. His looks. His assurance. People don抰 talk much about his intelligence. The shrewdness staring at me now suddenly seems like his most dominant feature. It sees me, sees through me. Past the protections that keep everyone else out.
Certain choices are one luxury our lives don抰 afford. I realize he might think I抦 asking about a different decision than I am.
揅EO??I clarify.
He doesn抰 have a choice when it comes to me. Not anymore. The announcements have been made. The planning is already underway. It would be a scandal of shocking magnitude for either of us to back out of this marriage now梐 blow to both of our families?reputations. It shouldn抰 matter梥houldn抰 bother me梩hat he doesn抰 have other options anymore.
揑 want it,?he confirms.
The loud crunch of another bite punctuates the statement. 揋reat.?My voice is full of false cheer and real sarcasm. 揥e should go back. They抣l wonder where we are.?
揟hey抣l assume it involved milking.?
I shoot his charming smile a disgusted look in return.
揂ctually, we can抰 go back yet.?
揥hat do you mean, we can抰 go back yet??
揑 need to give you something.?
揙h.?I realize what he抯 talking about, then glance at the shelves lined with colorful cans and boxes. 揑n here??
揑 don抰 think the string quartet or the champagne tower will fit.?
Dammit. I thought minimizing any pageantry was one way Crew and I are on the same page. If he has some elaborate proposal speech planned, I抣l probably start laughing. Making it seem like this is something that it is not is of no interest to me, especially when we抮e alone.
Whatever expression I抦 wearing makes his crease with what looks a lot like amusement.
揧eah, I thought so.?
揟hought what??
揅ome on.?Crew walks out of the pantry. We retrace our steps back to the same hall overlooking the pool and yard.
He approaches the staircase to the left. Silently, I follow. Up the stairs and down the carpeted hall and into a large room filled with dark wood walls and old books. There抯 a mustiness in the air that smells off-putting but isn抰。 It抯 not cozy, but it doesn抰 feel like a museum, the way the rest of the mansion梞inus the pantry梔oes.