揇o you want to talk about it??
Her leg jerks, hitting mine. 揑 thought you were asleep.?
揘ope.?I pop the P, just to extend the one word I have to offer.
揑t was卍ifferent than I was expecting.?
I tense. Debate responding. Grind my molars. 揧our surgeon makes you come three times??I sound jealous梥ound like I care梐nd I hate that I do. I should be relieved she抯 not clingy. That I抣l never need to feel guilty for taking other women up on their offers. Instead, I抦 marinating in a disgusting mixture of rage and annoyance.
揟hat抯 not what I mean.?
揥hat do you mean??
She抯 silent. For so long, I wonder if she抯 managed to fall asleep.
揇on抰 hate me,?Scarlett whispers.
揑 don抰。？
She sighs, and it抯 the saddest sound I抳e ever heard. 揧ou will.?
Then she rolls over, so all I can see is her back.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
SCARLETT
I抦 not this girl.
I don抰 get giddy or nervous or change my dress three times. I look down on women who are willing to change anything and everything about themselves for a man. If it抯 not something you抮e willing to do for yourself, why would you do it for someone else?
Rather than pathetic, I feel lighter and looser than I ever have. Fizzy, like a bottle of champagne that抯 been shaken but not yet popped. Feelings梕xcited feelings梑ubble to the surface. I抳e always had opportunity at my fingertips, and yet this is what spins my insides into a frenzy: spending time with the guy I married for a lot of logical reasons and even more illogical ones.
I smooth the ruffled hem of the pink dress I抦 wearing. It抯 an outfit I would never wear in New York梚t screams girly and innocent and na飗e. Today, I抳e forgone my red lips, left my hair down in waves, and I抦 wearing sandals. For once, I look my age. Maybe younger. I抳e dropped my guard, and my appearance reflects that.
When I step out into the bedroom, I panic for a split-second. Maybe Crew wants the woman with high heels and higher walls. Maybe any allure is how I抳e been hard to get. I told him no, and it was a novelty. Last night, I acted like his cock was the only one in the world. And I definitely made it obvious I抦 not indifferent toward him. I basically admitted to stalking him.
A breeze wafts through the open terrace doors, rubbing the soft cotton against my skin. Every time I see a room in this house, I fall in love with the villa a little bit more. If it were possible to run Haute from here, I抎 never leave. As long as Crew stayed too.
He抯 standing by the front door, typing something on his phone. Things feel different between us. Not better or worse, just different. What we share梬hat we don抰梪sed to be clearly defined. It抯 now a blur.
When Crew smiles at me, the bottle gets shaken a little more. 揜eady??
揧eah.?
I follow him outside. We抮e not pretending last night never happened梩he confessions, the sex, the waking up in bed together梑ut we haven抰 discussed it either. I wasn抰 all that drunk last night. I remember every second. My behavior was mostly because I let down my guard and acted the way I wanted to act without worrying about consequences. They don抰 seem as glaring in the light of day.
We could have flown back today. Instead, Crew asked if I wanted to go to a football梥occer梘ame over breakfast. Despite my low interest level in sitting in the hot sun watching a bunch of guys run around and listening to spectators pretend they could play better, I agreed. Because he suggested it.
Driving past dramatic cliffs and dazzling ocean views, it doesn抰 feel like much of a hardship. Crew drove a gray Maserati convertible out of the garage, which is what we抮e riding in now.
I try and fail to recall another time we抳e been alone in a car together. Everything that would feel commonplace with anyone else feels meaningful with him. I don抰 speculate on why that might be. We may be in a decent place right now, but I have no delusions it will last.
Happy for now is more than I expected.
Happy ever afters aren抰 realistic.
I spy on Crew under the pretense of studying the scenery, beneath the shade of my sun hat and the cover of Gucci sunglasses. My recent trips to Italy have all been for work, mostly to Milan. I forgot how the craggy coastline can take your breath away, with blue water that抯 startlingly clear and vibrant. The color of Crew抯 eyes梥o pretty you think it is fake.
Crew appears relaxed and alert as we drive. He抯 dressed casually, in a white cotton t-shirt and a pair of navy shorts. Wayfarers shield his eyes. This guy is unrecognizable from the Crew Kensington who sidled up to me in Proof. Tan, relaxed, maybe even happy.
Flashes of last night play across my memory as I trace his profile, lingering on the shift of tendons in his arms as he turns the wheel to take a right. I can list the number of guys whose forearms I抳e previously ogled on zero fingers. For some reason, the sight of Crew抯 is one I can抰 look away from.