He went to her and cradled her cheek, his thumb smoothing over her soft skin. “Baby, tell me what’s going on.”
“I need to do this for me.” She shied away from his touch, ripping a new hole in his chest where his heart used to reside.
“Do what?” He wanted her to say it. To put into words the action that would destroy him.
“Not work here.” She pressed her eyes tightly closed, like she was giving herself a pep talk to continue. “Not be with you.”
“Why?” He heard the pleading in his voice. He didn’t give a shit. Now was not the time for pride.
Her eyes fluttered open. “I came to work at Sugar Blitz to convince my grandmother that I was responsible enough to gain control of my trust fund. I’ve always been a screwup, someone who couldn’t stay with anything for long, twisting in the wind from here to there, from impulse to impulse. I thought I found what I was looking for here, but again I nearly brought disaster to your doorstep because of one more impulsive decision I made.”
Donovan gathered her hands in his and squeezed. “But we weathered that storm together.”
Jada nodded. “I know we did, but it’s hard to forget that I was the cause in the first place, and I don’t want to ever put you in that position again.” A tear slipped down her cheek. He reached out to wipe it away. He couldn’t help himself. Her pain was his pain.
Jada squared her shoulders. “To truly be the adult I want to be, I need to be on my own, not at a job my grandmother picked out for me, even though I’ve had the time of my life here. I don’t want to be that impulsive screwup for the rest of my life. I refuse to be. We’ve moved so fast, and I’ve come to rely on you. I need to figure out who I am and what I want and stand on my own two feet before I commit to someone. I need time.”
Her eyes pleaded with him for understanding. But he couldn’t. Love for her consumed him, and he wanted to tell everyone every damn day how he felt.
But that’s not what she wanted from him.
If he thought about it rationally, logically, he could understand. It took everything within him, but he reined in his emotions. If she needed time, if she didn’t see a future with him, then he would respect her decision. No matter how much it ravaged him.
But he’d been through plenty of emotionally draining, soul-crushing events in life, and he’d gotten through them by concentrating on what came next and making sure he was never vulnerable again. This would be no different.
He swallowed his hurt and lifted his chin. “Okay.”
* * *
Jada followed Stacey into Grams’s office. Her grandmother stood and made her way toward her. “Jada, what a wonderful surprise.”
She held out her arms and Jada gratefully fell into the embrace. She’d never felt worse. Being an adult sucked. She missed Donovan more than she’d ever thought possible. It had been less than two days, but it felt like a part—an integral part—of her was missing. She didn’t know if she’d ever feel whole again. But it was a necessary step for her. She needed to figure out who she was outside of a relationship, outside of a job handed to her. But it hurt so much not seeing him every day. Not being able to kiss him whenever the mood struck. Not being able to tease him when he got too serious.
“Jada, honey, what’s wrong?” Grams led her to her seating area.
Jada sank into one of the plush chairs and took a deep breath. Time to rip off the bandage. “I quit my job.”
Grams settled into the other chair. “Why? You love working there. You love working there with Donovan.”
“Because it’s time for me to grow up and take control of my life. And no, I don’t want to talk about Donovan.”
Grams studied her, concern filling her eyes. “Okay. We don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want to, but what do you mean it’s time for you to grow up?”
Jada’s shoulders deflated. “I worked at Sugar Blitz because you set me up with a job there.”
Grams reached for her hand. “And you flourished. I’ve never seen you like this. You’re more determined. You’re more focused. You’re joyful. I’ve always been proud of you for keeping a stiff upper lip no matter what gets thrown your way and powering through and maintaining your sense of self, but now I’m happy for you.”
Jada nodded, barely holding back the tears. “I enjoyed working there, planning events and getting to know the regulars, and converting people to regulars.”
“Then what’s the problem?”