We spend most of that time kissing. Slow and gentle. Hard and passionate. And everything in between.
A few months ago, I hated kissing. I thought it was boring. Now, every second takes my breath away. The hours slide away without me realising.
Even when our mouths aren’t firmly locked together, we don’t talk much. There’s some idle chatter, but nothing deep or personal. It feels like we’re inside a delicate little soap bubble. I’m scared of popping it and ruining the moment. I’ve been so heartbroken for so long, and suddenly, all of that pain has gone. I can breathe again. More than that — I’m happy. My whole body is thrumming with endorphins. It’s like every cell in me was missing the guys, and now that we’re back together again, I can finally relax.
A few months ago, the thought that I could be so attached to other people would scare me. To be honest, it still does. But I trust the men. I have to.
Sometime after the sun goes down, Josh’s phone starts pinging. He pulls it out and frowns at the screen.
“You can let go of me, you know,” I tell Zack, who has his arm around me like a vice as he draws patterns on my thigh with his fingertips.
“Can I?” He doesn’t move. He hasn’t for the past twenty minutes. Now, I think it’s clear that we’re not experts at this whole ‘group relationships’ thing — but I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to involve some more sharing.
“I won’t run away.” I try to stand, and he yanks me back down, settling me back into the crook of his arm and sighing happily. “Zack.”
“What do you need? Luke will get it.”
“Get what? A catheter? I need to pee, for Christ’s sake.”
He pats my knee. “You can do it here, I don’t mind.”
“Zachary.”
He heaves a massive sigh and lets me go. “Fine. I’ll miss you.”
I stand and shuffle along to the other side of the sofa, plopping myself down on Josh’s lap. His arms come to wrap around me immediately, and he buries his face in my hair, breathing deep. On my left, Luke takes my hand.
Zack makes an outraged noise and scoots closer on my other side. “You little liar.”
“You need to learn to share. You’ve had me for ages.” I kiss Josh’s cheek. “He looked sad.”
Josh doesn’t deny it, just tugs me closer into him, stroking my knee. “I love you,” he says into my cheek, and I just about melt.
“Me, too.” I twist in his lap, trying to get a look at his phone. “What’s up? Is there a problem?”
He sighs, tightening his grip on me. “Nothing we weren’t expecting. One of our sponsors for the next month has pulled out. They don’t want to be seen ‘associating with our brand’ apparently.”
“What? Why?” I sit up, alarmed. “Oh, God. Is it because of me?”
“No, no,” Luke soothes me. “It was Zack’s fault.”
“I forgot you didn’t know,” Josh says into my hair, nuzzling the base of my neck. “He got into an… incident at the convention.”
I raise an eyebrow. “That sounds ominous.”
Zack waves a dismissive hand. “It was nothing, really. Your ex was there. Danny What’s-his-name.”
I squint at him.
“Pritchard,” Luke supplies, watching me closely. “Donny Pritchard. Said he came to hear us talk, but I think he really wanted to see you.”
I stick out my tongue. “Gross. He is not my ex.”
“Damn straight,” Zack agrees cheerfully. “Anyway, I punched him in the face.”
“What?”
“He deserved it,” Zack says. “Are you mad?”
I snort. “No. Is there video?”
Zack grins. “Atta girl. Show her, Josh.”
Josh brings up YouTube on his phone and hands it to me. It’s a shaky video, taken by a fan a few rows back in the audience. I see Donny go up to the mic in a stupid baseball cap, smirking at the guys. There’s a few seconds of back-and-forth, and then my mouth falls open as Zack stands, jumps off the stage into the crowd, and smacks Donny right in the nose. There’s an awful cracking sound, and blood spills out of Donny’s nostrils as he falls to the ground and screams.
I’m entranced. When the video ends, I rewind it and watch it again. And then again. And again. I know it doesn’t make me a nice person to enjoy the sound of my ex-bully’s nose breaking — but hey, I never claimed to be nice. I want this video tattooed on the back of my eyelids.