I stare at his plate. His stupid gold-plated carrots sparkle back at me.
“Right,” I say softly. “Okay.”
The waiter winces. “Um, do you want me to pack up your meal? I’ll throw in a dessert on the house.”
“I…” Part of me wants to say no. I’m embarrassed as Hell, but I don’t want to leave. I came here to eat dinner. I’m not going to run away just because my date went bad, for God’s sake — I’ve got more backbone than that.
I think.
Maybe not.
Luckily, before I have to make a decision, I’m interrupted.
“There’s no need for that,” a thick Northern accent says over my head. I blink as the chair opposite me is dragged out with an ear-piercing squeak, and my neighbour Zack heaves his massive, muscled body into Mike’s empty seat.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he says cheerfully, leaning over the table. I jump when he brushes his lips across my cheek, my lungs filling with his warm, honey-and-whiskey smell. “Sorry I peed for so long.” He sits back in his chair and grins at me. “Right. Back to the date. Where were we?”
TWO
LAYLA
I stare at Zack. He just winks back at me, his bright blue eyes twinkling.
Zack Harding （player nickname: Zack Hard-On） is a thirty-year-old ex-rugby player — but he looks more like a Viking. Massive arms, blonde hair usually pulled back into a man-bun, scruffy beard, and a barrel-chest the size of a fridge. He lives in the apartment opposite mine with two other guys. Since we live across the hall, we hang out all the time — which is how I know that he’s definitely not the man I am meant to be on a date with.
“Christ, man.” He shuffles a bit, then pulls a face at the waiter. “Ever think about buying a chair for us regular people? Not all of us are pipsqueaks like this lass.”
The waiter just stares at him, wide-eyed.
“Zack,” I say levelly. “What are you doing here?”
Zack looks surprised. “We’re on a date, babe. Don’t you remember?”
I roll my eyes.
The waiter looks completely flummoxed. “I’m sorry…” he trails off, looking behind him at the bathroom, then back at Zack. “Are you, um…？”
“I’m the same guy, yeah,” Zack says. “I just got really hot and buff all of a sudden. I would never abandon my gorgeous, stunning, slightly scary date.”
I kick his ankle under the table.
“No,” the waiter says hesitantly. “I mean… are you… Zack Harding?”
Zack beams. He loves being recognised in public. “Aye, the very same.”
“Like… that Zack Harding? Like, the rugby player? You were my favourite when you were playing for England!”
“Oh, aye.” Zack turns back to me. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got a date with a lovely lady, and a tiny plate of…” he examines the meal in front of him, “mmm, delicious parsnips to eat.” When the waiter doesn’t make a move, he waves him off cheerfully. “See you later, mate!”
“Oh.” The man comes to his senses and turns, scurrying away. Zack settles down happily in his seat and picks up Mike’s glass of wine, as if he spends every weekend crashing his neighbours’ dates, and this is perfectly normal.
“You know,” I say slowly, “if you missed me this much, you could’ve just waited for me to get home.”
“I ain’t here for you. I asked a girl out for a drink.” He nods to the bar in the corner of the room. I glance over, spotting a crowd of modelesque women sitting on the barstools, sipping on drinks and chatting. Sure enough, one particularly beautiful girl in a very short dress is sitting alone, glaring daggers at me.
I raise an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you still be with her, then? I doubt you’re getting laid at this rate.”
“Didn’t work out.” He studies the pile of golden vegetables on his plate critically. “She invited me to her sister’s wedding this weekend.”
“And that’s a problem?” I ask, watching as he picks up his soup spoon and carefully piles everything onto it.
He gives me a flat look. “Meeting the family isn’t top on my priority list, lass. I don’t come out looking for a wife. I saw you got ditched, so I came over to save you.” He shoves the bite into his mouth and frowns down at my plate. “Babe, you’ve barely eaten any of this. Why aren’t you eating? You nervous?”
I shrug. “I just wanted to get everything right.” Clearly, I failed spectacularly.