Irritation flashes through me, but I bite it back. I’m not really angry at Luke. He’s just concerned. It’s my fault for letting him see how much Donny upset me.
“I’m fine,” I say again. “Really. I ran into an old schoolmate. It… knocked me off-balance for a second.”
The lie hangs in the air between us. Josh’s dark eyes glitter as he assesses me, his face inscrutable. “Okay.” He puts his phone away.
I set the waters down and curl up on the sofa next to him, tucking my feet under me. We’re both silent for a minute. Without meaning to, my mind flashes back to Donny. I remember the familiar sneer on his face as he leered at my chest.
If you didn’t want people to look at you, you sure as Hell wouldn’t be wearing a shirt like that.
Old, half-buried memories flicker through the back of my brain, making me feel sick.
“You can tell me,” Josh says suddenly. I glance across at him. He’s not looking at me, staring out of the window at the city lights. “You’re upset. You can tell me what’s hurting you.”
I tug at the hem of my shorts. “I’m not hurt. Nothing is upsetting me.”
“Is it the podcast?” He asks. “Is it upsetting you? Because you can drop out whenever you want. Things have gotten pretty crazy.”
I frown. “I don’t want to drop out. Even if I did, I wouldn’t do it. You guys would lose a ton of followers. And the whole point of this segment was to boost your popularity.”
He frowns. “I don’t care about that.”
I snort. “Yeah, you do. The podcast is your life. You love it.”
“Not to the detriment of other people,” he snaps. “I wouldn’t hurt someone for business, for God’s sake.”
His voice is uncharacteristically sharp. I’m taken aback. “Never said you would.”
Josh closes his eyes, his shoulders slumping. “Sorry. Touchy subject, I guess. I was just on the phone to my brother before Luke called me.” His lips press together. “Rob wants to invite our dad to his wedding.”
“When was the last time you saw him?”
“Years ago. I was hoping to keep it that way.” He looks out of the window at the city lights outside. “He was like that. Cold. Harsh. A workaholic that cared more about his bank accounts than other people. People say that I’m like him a lot, so…” he shrugs. “Yeah. Sore subject.”
I don’t know what to say to that. A few seconds of silence pass as I watch him. His face is dipped in shadow. I can see his pulse thrumming in his throat. He looks sad and tired, and it’s unfurling something inside of me.
“Can I try something?” I ask.
He nods wordlessly. Slowly, I lean forward, curling my hand in his hair. His lips part, but he doesn’t move as I shuffle closer and touch my mouth to his.
Just like the last time we kissed, need immediately flushes through me. I melt against him, my body softening against his hardness. God, it feels so good. It feels right. He makes a low noise and kisses me back hard, licking into me. The dark room around me smudges like an oil painting. I can feel tension building deep in my stomach, like a spring winding tighter and tighter. We keep touching each other, stroking our hands over each other like neither of us can quite convince ourselves to stop. The ache between my legs gets worse and worse, until I’m squirming on his lap, rocking slightly against his thigh. I feel half-desperate.
I need more.
Yanking up my tight shorts, I climb onto Josh’s lap, straddling his thick thighs. He groans as I shuffle forwards, wrapping my arms around his neck. We kiss again, long and hard, until the blood is thudding in my head and I have to pull back and gasp for breath.
“Layla,” he rumbles, gripping my hips like he’s scared I’ll pull away. “What is this?”
Ignoring the question, I dip in for another kiss. He meets my lips stroke for stroke. Our chests rub against each other, and the buttons on his shirt press through the fabric of my thin silky top, rubbing against my overheated skin. I shiver. I had no idea that buttons could feel so good.
“Layla…” he starts again.
I nibble at his throat, and he groans, his hips bucking under mine. “God, I love your weak spot.”
“D-don’t use it against me,” he manages, as I lick over his pulse.
I shake my head, nipping at the hot skin until his hands clutch at me. “I’m just being a good student.”
His big palms slide up the sides of my waist. His eyes meet mine. “Can I…？”