“He was a pedophile.” Callie spoke quietly, still testing the weight of her words. “We were kids. We were pliable. That’s what he wanted—a child he could exploit. It didn’t matter which one of us he got to first. What mattered to him was which one of us he could make come back for more.”
Leigh swallowed so hard again that her throat hurt. Her logical mind told her that Callie was right. Her heart still told her that she had failed to protect her baby sister.
“I wonder who else he did it to?” Callie asked. “You know we weren’t the only ones.”
Leigh was aghast. She had never considered there were other victims, but of course there were other victims. “I don’t—I don’t know.”
“Maybe Minnie what’s-her-name?” Callie said. “She babysat for Andrew when you were in juvie. Do you remember that?”
Leigh didn’t, but she could clearly recall Linda’s exasperation over the number of previous sitters who had abandoned her son for seemingly no reason.
“He convinced you that you were special.” Callie wiped her nose on her sleeve. “That’s what Buddy did. He made it seem like you were the only one. That he was a normal guy until you came along, and now he was in love with you because you were special.”
Leigh pressed together her lips. Buddy had not made her feel special. He had made her feel dirty and ashamed. “I should’ve warned you.”
“No.” Callie’s tone was as firm as it had ever been. “Listen to me, Harleigh. What happened is what happened. We were both his victims. We both forgot how bad it was because that was the only way we could survive.”
“It wasn’t—” Leigh stopped herself, because there was no counter-argument. They had both been children. They had both been victims. All she could do was go back to where she started. “I’m sorry.”
“You can’t be sorry for something that you couldn’t control. Don’t you get that?”
Leigh shook her head, but part of her desperately wanted to believe what Callie was saying was true.
“I want you to hear me,” Callie said. “If this is the guilt you’ve been carrying around for your entire adult life, then set it the fuck down, because it doesn’t belong to you. It belongs to him.”
Leigh was so used to crying that she didn’t notice her own tears. “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?” Callie demanded. “It’s not your fault. It was never your fault.”
The twist on her familiar mantra broke something inside of Leigh. She put her head in her hands. She started to sob so hard that she couldn’t hold herself up.
Callie wrapped her arms around Leigh, taking some of the burden. Her lips pressed into the top of Leigh’s head. Callie had never held her before. Usually, it was the other way around. Usually, it was Leigh providing the comfort, because Walter was right. From the beginning, Phil had never been their mother. It was only Leigh and Callie, back then, and it was only Leigh and Callie right now.
“It’s okay,” Callie said, kissing the top of her head the same way she did with her cat. “We’re going to get through this, all right?”
Leigh sat back up. Her nose was running. Her eyes stung with tears.
Callie got up from the couch. She found a tissue pack in Dr. Jerry’s desk. She took a few for herself, then passed the rest to Leigh. “What’s next?”
Leigh blew her nose. “What do you mean?”
“The plan,” Callie said. “You always have a plan.”
“It’s Walter’s plan,” Leigh said. “He’s taking care of everything.”
Callie sat back down. “Walter’s always been tougher than he looks.”
Leigh wasn’t so sure that was a good thing. She found a fresh tissue and wiped under her eyes. “I’m going to FaceTime with Maddy in a few hours. I wanted to do it in person, but we can’t risk Andrew somehow following us to Maddy’s location.”
“Through the satellites, you mean?”
“Yes.” Leigh was surprised Callie knew even that much about tracking devices. “Walter already had his mother stop at a gas station. They checked under the RV to make sure there weren’t any trackers. I found one on my car, but I got rid of it.”
Callie said, “I thought Andrew would use the GPS in Sidney’s BMW to find me.”
“You wanted him to find you?”
“I told you—I told Sidney to tell Andrew I had the knife if he wants it back.”