Taylor went over to check on the casserole. “How’s everything at the office?”
I swallowed. “Good. Thanks again for letting me get some work done.”
“I have to admit, I’m jealous. I’d love to be able to escape into my work for a little while and not have to live in this hard stuff every moment of the day. But that feels impossible with my mom here all the time.”
“Maybe it’ll get easier after the service.”
“I hope so. Speaking of that, how’re you doing with the photo presentation?”
I swallowed again. I hadn’t even started it. “Making progress.”
“Can I see what you have so far?”
“Uh, not yet . . . let me keep polishing it up.”
The girls both came out of the back hallway wearing their pajamas with wet hair, yelled “Daddy!” with delight, and raced toward me. This was pretty much the highlight of my every day. I scooped up Olivia with my right arm and Nicole with my left and hugged them both really tight. I took a glance at Nicole’s forehead, where she definitely had a little bump near her hairline.
“That’s a nice bruise on your head,” I said to Nicole.
“Sissy got mad at me,” Nicole replied.
I gave a stern look to Olivia.
She frowned. “I already said I was sorry, Daddy.”
“What do we say about hitting, kicking, or throwing things at each other?”
“I know,” Olivia said, hanging her head.
“It’s okay, Daddy,” Nicole chimed in. “Sissy gave me Courtney to play with to make up for it.”
“Only for one day,” Olivia quickly corrected.
I smiled at Olivia. Courtney was her favorite American Girl doll. My seven-year-old must’ve really felt bad about the bump on her sister’s head.
“Grab your seats, girls,” Taylor said, removing the casserole dish from the oven and setting it in the middle of our kitchen table.
Carol joined us from the hallway. The sight of her brought a fresh rush of heavy emotions. I again wondered what all she knew about Joe’s past. Had he kept everything hidden from her? Or had he let her in on his secret? I couldn’t imagine keeping something like this from Taylor. Just carrying around the lies from the past two days was eating me up inside. Had Joe done that for his entire marriage? When the moment was right, I hoped to probe a little with my mother-in-law. But I certainly didn’t want to do it in front of Taylor.
I walked over, gave my mother-in-law a quick hug. “How’re you doing?”
“Better. Thanks to these two cuties.”
She smiled at the girls. I wondered if Carol was going to need to stay with us long-term to make it through this transition without Joe. I was fine with that, but it might drive Taylor crazy. The girls needed boundaries, and my in-laws had never been good at reinforcing them. Every time we dropped them off for a date night, Taylor asked her parents to keep the treats to a minimum. Every time we picked them up, we found out they’d had cookies, ice cream, and candy.
We sat around the dinner table and held hands while I quickly blessed the food. Then we loaded up our plates. I immediately began asking the girls a lot of questions about their day, and they gladly told me as many stories as they could think of in the greatest detail. Part of my engagement with them was a tactic to keep the conversation off me and my day. I didn’t want to have to bluff my way through dinner. While listening to one of Nicole’s stories about a baby doll, I glanced over to an empty chair at the opposite end of the table where Joe would normally sit. My heart sank. Taylor had set a plate out for him. Probably out of habit. But still, it stung like hell.
For a brief moment, I felt angry at Joe.
Why so many lies?
Did you do something that got you killed?
Are you to blame for all this pain my family is dealing with right now?
After dinner, Carol insisted that she clean the table and do the dishes while Taylor took the girls upstairs to begin bedtime—a routine that could take more than an hour depending on how many times the girls kept getting up. I need water. I need to go to the bathroom. There’s something in my room. Olivia won’t stop talking. Nicole won’t stop talking. Both of my girls could go on forever. Fortunately, when they were both finally asleep, they usually stayed down most of the night. It was just a lot of work to get them there.
I told Taylor I’d help clean up the kitchen and then join her upstairs in a few minutes. Double-teaming story time was the only chance we had at wrapping things up more quickly. Especially because Olivia and Nicole could never agree on which book they wanted read to them. I grabbed the dirty utensils from the kitchen table and set them in the sink while Carol loaded the dishwasher. I wondered how best to get into this conversation with my mother-in-law.