The cab driver fell in love with Grandma instantly and took her arm and helped her down the stairs and along the little path to the curb, like they were a bride and groom. Shotgun! yelled Grandma. She always had to sit in the front of cars. Normal people sit in the backs of cabs, but not Grandma. She wants to see everything and navigate everything and talk with the driver. The cab driver had to move all his stuff off the front seat. He wiped off the crumbs and chucked some garbage into the back seat next to me. A Tim Hortons cup landed on my leg. Sorry, sorry, he said. Grandma got in. Mom waved and waved. Gord, I said in my head, I’ll be back in ten days. You can do this. Use your superpowers. Remember there’s a fire inside you that you have to keep burning.
So! said Grandma to the cab driver. She looked snazzy in her giant welder’s sunglasses. We were driving. Grandma wanted to get to know her new husband. She turned her whole body to look at the cab driver. How are you this fine day! she said. I fired up Beyoncé really fast and didn’t hear anything else the whole way to the airport but I saw Grandma and the cab driver laughing in the front seat. I saw Grandma point at me in the back and then the driver looked into his rear-view mirror and waved and smiled at me when he should have been keeping his eyes on the road. I took out Beyoncé to be polite and said pardon? I heard him say is it a boy or a girl? I thought he was talking about Gord. My new grandpa already knew everything about our family. The cab driver pointed his thumb at me over his shoulder. She’s a girl! said Grandma. She put her arm around the seat to the back where I was and patted the bottom part of my leg like that’s okay, nobody knows what you are, but that’s okay.
At the end of the ride the cab driver and Grandma hugged! Grandma rubbed his arm! He patted her back! They said all sorts of things to each other about hoping the future would be good to them both and then finally, finally Grandma came shuffling after me into the airport. Peoples’ stories are so interesting! she said. I pulled both our little suitcases and Grandma carried her red purse. We went to the place where they had the wheelchairs. Grandma sat down in a nearby lounge chair and I went to the long row of wheelchairs and picked one out. A man with an airport uniform walked over to me and said I had to wait in a line for the wheelchairs. I couldn’t just take one. He pointed at some people standing by a desk. Then Grandma’s diuretic kicked in. Gotta go! she said. I went back to the airport guy and asked if I could use one of the wheelchairs to take Grandma to the washroom which was forty miles away. He shook his head. I tried to tell him about Grandma’s diuretic, but he kept shaking his head and then he walked away to talk with his airport employee friend about his new transmission which had set him back three G. I took a wheelchair and pushed it over to Grandma. The guy came back and asked me if I had heard what he’d said before. You didn’t say anything, I said. You just shook your head. Well, he said, that’s a universal sign for no. Grandma laughed. I can think of another universal sign, she said. I helped her into the wheelchair. Put your little suitcase between my legs, said Grandma. And put mine on my lap. I squeezed our suitcases around Grandma in the wheelchair and started to push her to the washroom. The guy said we did not have permission to take the wheelchair. We know! said Grandma. Step on it, Swiv! I really pushed hard. I tried to run. Grandma held on to the suitcases with her arms and legs. Lean into it, kiddo! she said. The guy shouted that we weren’t authorized to commandeer a wheelchair. Oh, we know! said Grandma. There it is, Swiv! She was pointing at the washroom. That’s men’s! I said. Doesn’t matter, said Grandma. Let me out! I wanted to keep going to the women’s washroom but Grandma was already moving all the suitcases off her and trying to get out of the wheelchair. No, no! I said. Yes, yes! she said. She was laughing. It’s crunch time! Then sit back down! I said. She sat back down and put the suitcases back on her and we went into the men’s washroom past confused males washing their hands and right into the giant handicapped stall. The airport guy is gonna follow us in here! I said. Grandma was already sitting on the toilet saying hoooooooooo. No problem! said Grandma. Let him! She was trying to catch her breath. She was peeing and laughing at the same time. I leaned against the wall of the bathroom stall and looked at my phone to give her privacy. I was sweating. This was my first time in a men’s washroom. I looked at a text from Mom. It said remember to get Grandma to walk up and down the aisle every half an hour. It said she loved me and missed me already. I texted her that Grandma and I were basically under arrest and we hadn’t even gone through security yet. She texted back lol and hearts.