He looks at me suspiciously, his hands still far away from my backpack.
‘I always like to keep a few important items away from my hotel room when I travel. Sometimes I use a left luggage locker in a train station. I wondered if I could leave this bag with you. I’m going back to England soon so it’s just for a few days. You can look inside: there are no bombs or body parts.’
‘I can’t take it.’
‘Please, Jimmy. It’s a family emergency and I can’t afford a locker right now. You can look inside the bag if you like.’
He narrows his eyes. ‘What’s in there?’
‘A little cash, some water, some bug spray, spare clothes, a multi-tool, some Tampax . . .’
‘All right, all right, that’s enough. I’ll keep it for you. But I’m not taking responsibility, you hear? If it goes missing or someone takes it, then that’s your sorry luck for leaving it with me.’
‘Deal.’
‘You’re a crazy English girl.’
‘I know. Now, can you tell me where I can find pepper spray or bear spray?’
‘No bears in New York City.’
I raise my eyebrows.
‘Place downtown near 14th Street I heard about a way back, not sure if it’s still there though. Sell all kinds of martial arts karate weapons. Flying stars and the like. You be careful what you do with those things, Molly. You been on a course?’
‘Thanks, Jimmy. See you soon.’
He disappears from view muttering as he hides my backpack away inside the cart.
I pass the diner and tell Mum and Dad where I’m going. I guess they gave up waiting as both are eating chicken pot pie with french fries. Mum apologises, and I take a napkin full of fries with me and go.
Yellow cab up to the YMCA in the Upper West Side takes ten minutes.
She’s waiting outside.
Short red hair. Blue jeans. Thick black coat: the kind a construction worker might wear.
Violet watches me get out of the cab.
And then she collapses to the ground like she’s been shot in the head.
Chapter 13
I run over and help up the woman Scott called KT’s soulmate. Nobody else seems to notice her on the ground.
‘I’m fine, really, I’m fine. My knees went weak, I need food, I guess. I’m good. Jesus, I’m an idiot.’ She stares directly into my eyes as she gets back to her feet.
‘Hey, miss. Your fare!’ yells the cab driver.
‘Pay the man,’ says Violet. ‘I’m OK now.’
I pay him and he looks at me like I tried to rip him off.
‘It’s more of a shock than I expected. To see you, I mean. Jesus,’ says Violet. ‘God, I’m sorry. I’m Violet, Vi, Katie’s friend.’
‘I know.’
‘I know you know, I’m just saying. Fuck, you look just like her, I mean obviously, duh, you’re twins, but you look just fucking like her. Like nothing’s even changed – you even frown like she did.’
I shrug.
‘I’m sorry about what happened,’ she says.
‘Thank you.’
‘No, I mean it. I’m real sorry. That it happened here in New York. It’s horrific.’
‘It’s not your fault.’
She says, ‘Can I give you a hug? I’m not coping with this very well. Is a hug too weird? Maybe I shouldn’t. Or? That OK? I figure we both need it.’
‘I’m not sure.’ KT was the hugger, not me.
‘Come on.’
We share an awkward hug outside the entrance to the YMCA and it’s only broken when a Japanese guy comes outside, wheeling his bike.
‘Can’t you see we’re right here?’ Violet tells him. ‘We’re both invisible to you? You couldn’t have waited one second, dude?’
He apologises even though he really has nothing to apologise for, and Violet says, ‘Fuck. Let’s go into the park.’
We cross the road and enter Central Park south of Dalehead Arch. There are locals with small dogs on leashes, and there are tourists in bad denim. One young woman passes us, talking about how she might scrape the grades for UCLA.
‘Do the cops have any leads?’ she says. ‘I still can’t believe Katie’s gone. Cannot fathom it. They tell you anything yet?’
‘Not really.’
‘In her own fucking apartment. I told her to live on campus but did she listen? I survived in this damn city my whole life and she didn’t listen to me.’
‘You’re from here?’
‘Mom’s from Brooklyn, Dad’s from Queens, though I haven’t seen him since I was a little girl. I study the same program as Katie. Up to my eyeballs in debt and working two jobs in Williamsburg just to pay bills.’