‘That’s what Vi says. She hates Halloween with a passion.’
Vi again.
‘Violet hates Halloween? Why?’ I finish a spring roll.
‘She hates anything commercialised. Anything wrapped up in shopping and materialism and plastic garbage. Vi’s practically a communist. Always stays home on the 31st.’
‘I’ll probably do the same, to be honest. Stay in the hostel and work on KT’s case.’
‘Any leads yet you know of?’
‘A few,’ I say. ‘Nothing concrete. Nothing to justify an arrest.’
‘I just wish they’d lock me in the cell with the guy. Just for five minutes.’
‘You never know, you might get your chance.’
He grits his teeth and says, ‘Cops talked to her neighbour, you think? Kid living down in the basement?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘They should.’
I don’t say anything.
‘Something wrong with that kid. Like he has a dark side.’
‘I’m looking into him.’
‘Be careful around that guy, Molly. You need to talk to him, you let me know and I’ll go in with you. We can talk to him together.’
I smile at him and he blushes again. Six-four with a square jaw and yet he blushes. Red around each cheek dimple.
He orders another beer and the restaurant lights dim.
‘Katie told me you guys were inseparable as kids. Told me about your secret language and the way you hardly spoke to your parents for a few years, just each other.’
I take a sip of water. ‘We used to make fun of them behind their backs. It was cruel, really.’ I start to laugh. ‘One time we swapped salt for sugar and Dad spat out his tea. We planned the whole thing. Well, I planned it and KT actually did it. We were a good team.’
‘Don’t take this the wrong way,’ he says, leaning back, his shirt stretching over his midriff. ‘And I know I said it before. But you’re so different, the two of you. You look almost the same, obviously, but your faces, your expressions. It’s like I’m here with Katie but I’m not, you know?’
‘We’ve always been pretty different,’ I say. ‘Same, but different.’
‘I liked her a lot. She was a special person.’
‘She liked you, too, Scott.’
He doesn’t place his hand on my hand but he moves it closer. On top of the table, in full view of the room, his little finger is almost touching my little finger. I can feel it. The heat and the energy. I can feel the potential of him through my body. Like I’m getting drowsy from a hot bath, every muscle in my body easing. I want to push my hand so our fingers touch. I want to feel his skin against my skin. But I pull back.
‘Check?’ he says.
They bring it to us and we split it.
‘I’m heading back up to school. You still in Midtown?’
I nod.
‘Walk you there?’
We set off.
The evening is warm for the end of October, and there is a stillness in the air. Couples walk entangled. The woman in front of us has her hand in her lover’s back pocket, and his arm is loose around her waist. I start to think about how my hand would feel in Scott’s pocket. Just casually placed there. The movement of him as we walked.
‘I said, do you think you’ll ever come back to New York?’
‘Sorry, I was miles away. I don’t know. Maybe? Probably not. Probably won’t be able to.’
We cross the street heading north.
‘It can be expensive, but try to live your life to the full,’ he says. ‘Sorry, that sounds like greeting card bullshit. I mean, that’s what Katie would have wanted, you know?’
‘You think?’
‘Well, she never talked to me about her dying or anything,’ he says. ‘But in an indirect way, watching movies – can’t remember which ones; she usually chose them – she said she thought couples who are in love and then one of them dies from cancer or whatnot, she said the other should move on and marry someone else. That life is for living and you only get one shot.’
‘That sounds like KT.’
Our arms touch as we walk. Not much, mere grazing. I walk close to him and he does not back away.
I catch a sense of his aftershave in the breeze and I just want to stop and sniff him, breathe him in, open up my nostrils and smell him.
‘Hey, Stevie!’ he yells, then jogs off up the street.
Who the hell is Stevie?
They hug and pat each other’s backs and I realise how tactile Scott is and how I’ve not been close to him tonight, not really.