“Sean?”
“Yeah?” Distracted with his task, he kneels on the blanket, opening the first container. The crickets sing loudly around us and I take in the scene, the gnawing to ask growing at the setting, the sounds around us, a romance addict’s fantasy. I’ve had so many firsts with Sean—at twenty-five, adventurous as he is—I’m sure I would be hard-pressed to give him one of his own. And that’s some of where my hesitance lies, with the question I don’t want to ask because I know how it will sound. I slip off my shoes and socks and run my feet in the cool grass, deciding it’s best left alone for the moment.
“Cecelia.”
“Yeah?”
“You had a question?”
“I forgot it.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“You don’t want me to ask it.”
He looks at me expectantly. “All right, now I have to know.”
“How did Dominic know about the waterfall?”
He exhales, putting his hands on his knees, before peering up at me with guilty eyes. “Your real question is, how many girls have I taken there, right?”
“Is that like the place you take all women?”
He shakes his head slowly. “It’s a place I love, that I will often frequent with any company. It’s kind of slim pickings around here at times, like there are only a few restaurants in town worth a shit. This is a small town. If you stay in one place long enough, you’re bound to have repeats.”
“Repeats,” I parrot, sipping my iced tea.
He eyes me warily. “Shit, bad choice of words. Look,” he moves to sit and draws up his knees, his toned forearms resting on them. “No, you aren’t the first or second girl I’ve taken there.”
Suspicions confirmed, I try to hide my disappointment. “Thanks for the truth. I guess that day was special to me, that’s all.”
He chucks my chin. “Then let it be. You think I was thinking about the last girl I was with when I had you underneath me? Fuck no. And I like that you’re jealous.”
“Eww,” I prop up to my elbows and drop my head back dramatically. “I guess sometimes I make it obvious you’re dating a teenager.”
“Jealousy isn’t limited or nullified by age, babe. And you’ve been hurt. You’ve told me you have from the start. You’re being cautious. You don’t want to be fucked over again. Nothing wrong with that. I get it. And I’m not mad you asked about it.”
“Do you get mad?”
“Yes,” he says softly, so softly, it’s scary, “and it’s not something you want to see.”
“Oooooh,” I turn on my stomach, kicking my feet into motion behind me. “Do tell. Were you an angry child?”
“No, I was more like ‘Tarzan with Chimpanzee rip your arm off if you fuck with me’ tendencies.”
I laugh. “I believe it.”
“I did get into a lot of fights.”
“Why?”
“Because I was a little asshole.”
“So, what’s changed?”
“Cute. I was going to share my banana pudding, but…”
“Hey, I’m sorry. You haven’t given me many reasons not to trust you.”
He frowns. “Cecelia—”
I reach over and run my hand down his jaw. “I hate that I asked. But it’s been bothering me.”
“Next time ask so you aren’t wasting your time.”
“I did, but we were fighting, remember?”
“My bad, but I mean it, don’t let shit eat at you. Ask.”
“I will.”
“Good, now eat.”
And we do. After, we lay back looking up at the stars as his Zippo closes and an unmistakable smell invades my nose.
I grin over at Sean just as he passes the joint to me. I take a deep inhale and release it, already laughing from the act alone.
“You’re such a lightweight,” he chuckles.
“And proud of it. Why do you smoke?”
“It’s as relaxing as a few beers to me. And if you relax, and don’t think about anything or anyone but where you are and who you’re with, you can control the high and it won’t control you.”
“Okay, dude,” I say as I inhale in my best stoner impression. He grins and takes it back, and I turn and lay back on the blanket, gazing up at the night sky.
He grabs the hand resting on my stomach and brings it to his mouth to kiss the back of it. His eyes close and my chest buzzes from the intimate act.