“You don’t need to go to work,” Audrey told her gently. Lizzie looked disheveled and confused, but she seemed lucid.
“I can’t stay in bed all day. I’ll go crazy thinking of him, and my dad crying. If I go to work, I’ll have to keep it together. Maybe that’s better.”
“Whatever feels right to you,” Audrey told her.
“Nothing feels right. My brother is dead. I’ll never see him again.”
“I know,” Audrey said sadly. She’d been through it with her own brother: the shock, the void, the agony, the missing him for months, and even years. “Are you sure you want to fly today?”
“I don’t know what else to do. Maybe I can help someone else.” Audrey had to fly that morning too. They both got dressed, and Audrey did whatever she could to help her friend. She almost dressed Lizzie. Lizzie had put on her flight overalls, and her hair didn’t look as tidy as usual, but it was less noticeable under her cap. She laced up her combat boots, and she and Audrey left a few minutes later. Audrey stayed with her until she had to report for her own flight, and she watched Lizzie head up the ladder of the C-47 Skytrain with a heavy heart.
Pru, Charlie, and Ed were already on board when she got there, and both pilots were in the cockpit. Reggie had already started the engines, but they had another twenty minutes to spare before they left. Lizzie didn’t speak to anyone and sat down quietly in her usual jump seat. Ed looked at Pru with a question in his eyes, and she shook her head. A few minutes later, he spoke to Pru in a whisper.
“Is she okay? She looks sick, or like she’s been on a three-week drunk.”
“As far as I know.” Lizzie was usually chatty when she came on board and inquired about their mission. But her eyes looked dead when she got up, and she stood alone in the supply closet for a minute to compose herself. Ed couldn’t help himself. He followed her, slipped in, and looked down at her with a worried expression.
“Are you okay, Liz? You don’t have to fly today if you’re feeling under the weather.” He didn’t want to pry, and she didn’t answer him at first when her eyes met his.
“I need to fly today. We have a job to do.” Her voice didn’t sound like her.
“If you’re sure…” he said and was about to leave when her words stopped him in his tracks.
“My brother Greg died yesterday. They came to tell me at midnight last night. He was a doctor. The hospital where he was working was strafed by Japanese fighter pilots and he was killed.” She stood still like a statue, for a minute, and without saying a word, he took her in his arms and held her as she shook with silent sobs, and he clung to her as tightly as he could. There was nothing he could say to her. They had all been through it before, or most of them had. All he could do was be there. She clutched him as though she would drown if she didn’t.
“I’m sorry, Lizzie…so sorry. Do you want to go back to the barracks?” he whispered. “I can have someone drive you back.” She shook her head vehemently and looked up at him.
“I want to be with you, and I need to work.” She knew it was the only thing that would keep her sane, and she realized that she wanted to be with him. She knew he understood, just as Audrey did. He brought her a cloth dipped in cool water and she put it on her face and held it there for a minute. Then she dropped it in a bucket and nodded at him, and he gently led her back to her seat where she strapped herself in. Pru looked at him questioningly when he took his own seat, and he shook his head almost imperceptibly and she understood. It was a look that they all understood, one that said the worst had happened. She didn’t know who, but she could guess what. Lizzie’s world had been blown to bits for the second time in less than two and a half years. It was a cruel turn of fate. The cruelest.
Ed kept a close eye on her for the rest of the day, to make sure she was careful and alert during their brief landing. He didn’t want anything to happen to her. She managed to tend to the men she needed to. Pru put a gentle hand on her shoulder and gave her a hug once the men were loaded.
They flew four missions that day, and Lizzie looked like she’d been beaten when their last patients of the day had left in ambulances with the medics. Ed walked her back to her barracks then, and held her again for a moment before he walked her inside. Audrey was waiting for her in the hall. She had told the others, so they all knew what had happened.
Lizzie looked at Ed before she left him.
“Thank you,” were the only words she could find to say to him. She could never have gotten through the day without him. He gently touched her cheek and nodded.