I glance back down at my boots and try to take a deep breath without looking too obvious with it. I should have known that North wouldn't allow me to leave the sanctuary with only one of my Bonds. My reaction isn’t because I don't want to be around Nox. It's that this is my first real opportunity to prove myself to Gryphon and to prove that I can be an asset in this Bond Group, whether North likes it or not. I already know that Nox will do everything in his power to undermine that. He’s always so ready to point out all of my flaws and failings, every little thing that I do wrong or the little missteps I might have out of inexperience or ignorance. So now I’m not just going to have to be on my best behavior.
I'm going to have to move the mountains and the stars themselves to attempt to impress that man… or at least give him nothing to complain about. I still have his scathing critique ringing in my ears even though it feels as though the Resistance attacked us a lifetime ago.
“I’ve already packed everything that we need and distributed the supplies between the three of us,” Gryphon says, lifting a bag that is easily half my size up in offering to me.
I take it without a word, even though I probably would have grunted and complained in any other circumstances at the sheer weight of it. The bag strapped to his back is even bigger still, and there’s a weird sort of stubbornness in my very bones pushing me to just keep my mouth shut and take everything that is thrown at me right now.
Except, I'm not sure how far I'm really going to be able to go with this thing on, and it’s only just hitting me that maybe I should have been pushing myself a little bit more in our training sessions at the gym. I can run on a treadmill now for an hour straight, but with this weight on my back?
I’m screwed.
North finally gets his feet shoved into an old pair of sneakers that I'm sure are not his, because I cannot imagine Councilman North Draven wearing such things, and he walks back over to me to tug on the straps on the bag. I attempt to look steady on my feet and completely unfazed by the extra weight, but he’s too goddamn perceptive and I’m sure he sees through it.
He’s good about not completely calling me out about it though, thank God.
“Are you sure this isn't too much?”
When I shake my head back, he frowns at me, probably at my silence. I can tell he wants to prod at me some more, but Gryphon answers for me, “It’s not the bag. She's coming to terms with the fact that your brother is coming as well. I told you we should have warned her earlier, but you insisted.”
I don't want to have to explain all of the complicated emotions running through me about Nox to North right now, or ever, really, so I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile and turn on my heel to walk out of the bedroom.
I hear him begin to argue with Gryphon behind me, but before I can feel any sort of way about that, I find myself face-to-face with Atlas and Gabe. They both look incredibly exhausted and amazingly sleep rumpled as they wait to say goodbye to me in the living room, their hair sticking up everywhere and the imprint of their pillows still on their cheeks.
Atlas approaches me first, a low-slung pair of sweats on his hips and nothing much else on. It seems like the universe has ordered an early morning of torture for me.
He pulls me into his arms, wrapping me up tightly and kissing the top of my head. “Are you sure that we can't convince Gryphon to let me come as well?”
I shake my head, rubbing my nose against his pecs and reply, “I need to do this. I need to get out of here and prove that there's something I can do here other than waiting tables and washing dishes.”
I pull away from Atlas and move over to Gabe, who’s standing there wearing basketball shorts and another one of the tank tops with the exaggerated arm holes, which now makes me blush wildly thinking about last night. He gives me a questioning look that I avoid entirely.
When it’s clear I’m not going to say a word about the color on my cheeks, he drawls to Atlas, “She's got to be able to live. I would go crazy with the amount of rules that she's living under. To be honest, the fact that she keeps her bond stable around all of our bullshit is more than any of us really give her credit for.”
He tugs me into his arms and murmurs quietly in my ear, just between us, “You're also pretty good with a nail gun, for the record.”
I snort at his joke and hug him back just as tightly. My bond reaches out to him in a way that it hasn't reached out to any of the rest of them, and I know it's because he is the only one I haven't bonded with so far.
Other than Nox, of course, but that’s a given.