Nox stares at me.
Directly at me, no sneering or snarling insults at me for once, and it also makes me want to climb out of my skin. He does everything he can to avoid looking at me or being near me, so to have him just standing there and taking me in is just… so deeply unsettling.
I swallow roughly and just stare back at him like an idiot until his eyes narrow. He steps forward, towards me, and then glances back over my shoulder as though he’s going to see anything but TacTeam personnel buzzing around. “What is it? What’s happened?”
I think it’s the carefully considering tone he’s using, but I don’t just brush it off for once. I could, and I probably should, but I feel as though he’s actually seeing me for the first time as his eyes still roam over my face.
I step in closer to him, still careful about leaving a gap between our bodies but ensuring that none of the personnel around us will overhear. “Do you feel like we’re being watched? Like there’s… something keeping tabs? I can’t shake it, and while we were out, I felt it again.”
He looks back up and scowls around at everyone surrounding me. “Why the hell didn’t you say something sooner? Riordan could have been with us and followed us back with the jump.”
My stomach drops.
The sneer he always wears just for me settles back over his face and he snaps, “I need to find Benson. Come with me now.”
He pushes past me, not waiting for me to agree, and I follow him because I’d once again forgotten about the Resistance’s invisible, virtually undetectable man. Fuck. I should have spoken sooner.
I also should know better than to mention that to Nox though, because when I do, his reply is scathing. “Yes, you should have. Your bond is more experienced and more keenly aware than anyone else’s, and if you’re not going to actually listen to it, then you’re a liability and as good as a spy yourself. Stop hoarding information and start talking, Poison, before you get us all killed.”
I let him berate me.
We pass Gryphon at the edge of the group though, and he isn’t so keen to let the scolding go on for long. “Hoarding information? You’d know nothing about that, would you, Draven?”
There it is again.
I can’t stop myself from asking him, Are we going to talk about it now?
He glances over at me and shakes his head a fraction, before eyeing Nox’s retreating back like he’s thinking about stabbing him. I need to speak to North about it as well, preferably together. Don’t worry about it, Bonded.
Nox’s savage mood doesn’t ease up, not even when we get to Sawyer and he can’t find any evidence of Riordan being with us, no matter how he heat maps the video footage. The guilt is still eating me alive because deep down, I know Nox is right.
I could’ve led the Resistance back here, given them the keys to get a spy in here, and that does make me just as bad as the rest of them.
Can you come with us? If you’re not busy. It’s a cop-out, but I don’t want to know what Nox’s sneering will turn into if we do find Riordan in any of the footage from our return. I’ve been so adamant about dealing with Nox on my own, but I was also so goddamn sure I could get through this mission without fucking up.
And here I am, fucking it up.
You didn’t. You should remember that you saved his life back there, you reacted before even his shadow creatures could, and you’ve done nothing wrong. Even if Riordan came back with us, that’s not on you. I didn’t even notice the bad feeling you felt, that’s on me. Neither did Nox, that’s on him. Ease up on yourself, Bonded.
I can’t though.
I can’t because… fuck, because it would’ve been so damn easy to just say something, and I didn’t. There’s a whole heap of reasons they might have missed the eerie feeling, but I felt it, and I should have said something about it.
Gryphon plants one of his big hands on the base of my spine and directs me out of the room, getting us on the path towards the security room after Nox. Instead of letting it drop away, when the mid-morning sun hits us both as we get out into the fresh air, he slides his palm around my hip to pull me into his side. He’s not usually this hands-on in public, especially not with his TacTeam around, so I must look freaking miserable right now.
I need a goddamn distraction.
“How did you know shooting Riley would work to get Giovanna out of his head?”
Gryphon shrugs. “A lucky guess. He was already almost tapped out, thanks to Giovanna’s fucking around in his head. I didn’t think his body could handle the pain and the power use. I’ve dealt with another situation that was pretty similar, so it was more of a calculated guess, really.”