Doubt and disbelief seemed to come over her in a rush. She pulled her hands free and sat back in her seat. “What… what are you saying?”
“I’m saying… I couldn’t kiss you. Because… I was falling for you.”
Her expression changed with every breath. Trust and belief. Joy and delight, gratitude and hope. In an instant, his words had set her free from her darkest fear. That he could never see her as worth pursuing… because of what she viewed as her criminal past.
There was still much to tell her, and even now this could only be a friendship. Because of the important work they both had to do. But it would be a friendship deeper than either of them had known. A love with God at the center. But before he could put his thoughts into words, Eliza did something that told Jack everything would be okay. Even though they could not possibly be romantically involved, and even though they would never kiss again, at least she didn’t hate him anymore. She forgave him.
Jack knew. Because in that next moment she took his hands in hers.
And this time, neither of them let go.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
As surely as the Lord lives and as you live, I will not leave you.
—2 Kings 2:2
Eliza was dreaming. That was the only way to explain what was happening. Had Jack Ryder really just said he was falling for her? And that’s why he hadn’t wanted to kiss her? She fought to keep her reaction measured.
I still don’t want love, she told herself. I don’t want to date him.
But at least now she understood what had happened in the Bahamas. Jack wanted her, he was attracted to her. Nothing that he’d done while they were in Nassau had been a rejection. And even though she still worked to keep her walls up, they were falling apart with every passing moment. Because Jack was different. He wasn’t like any man she’d ever imagined knowing. Right now all she wanted was to sit in this moment. Live in it. In case this time with him really was only a dream.
Eventually their dinner arrived. Eliza wanted to freeze time so she could hear what Jack meant about God telling him to meet with her. And so she could hear about this angel. If that’s what it was. When they were done eating, she folded her hands in her lap. “Thank you. For telling me about the Bahamas.” She didn’t look down this time. “I thought it was because of… the Palace.”
“I know. I get that now.” Jack shook his head. “That’s behind you, Eliza. Another lifetime ago.” His blue eyes darkened. “Besides… I have my past, too.”
Whatever he was referring to, his yesterdays certainly would have paled in comparison with hers. But Eliza let the subject go. “So… we can be friends. Is that what you’re saying?”
“It is.” Sincerity shone in his expression. “I need to learn to care again. God made that clear last week, too.”
“And He told you to care about me?” She couldn’t believe it. This was what he’d wanted to tell her? It was the last thing she’d expected.
“Yes.” He slid his hands across the table again. “Is it okay? If we hold hands?” He paused. “We have to be careful.”
“We will be.” She did a slight shrug. “Friends hold hands.”
“Exactly.” His eyes never left hers. “Eliza… I’ve been alone since my parents died. I haven’t let my heart connect. Not with anyone.”
One of the walls fell. “Me, either.” She moved her hands toward his. Until now, she wanted to say. But she didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. She could use a friend in this new life of hers. Nothing more. Even so, when their fingers were connected she felt the most wonderful sensation.
Like she could actually breathe. For the first time since her days in Lower Barton Creek.
* * *
THEY WERE WALKING back to the car when it happened.
Jack had gone to the restroom and left her at a well-lit table along the river walkway. Eliza had learned long ago how to keep guys from looking at her. Don’t make eye contact. Looking into the eyes of a man could sometimes make him think he had the right to approach.
So Eliza kept her attention on the river, on the next boat making its way down the water. But then out of nowhere, she heard someone yell. She turned and saw a man sitting at a table directly across the path. He looked right at her.
“Hey, beautiful!” He was tall with dark hair and a tank top. Three guys sat with him.
Again Eliza looked away.
The man must’ve been drunk. Because his tone grew angry and he cussed at her. “Don’t disrespect me!” He was on his feet, and one of his friends tried to grab his hand. But the guy was undaunted.