I sighed and smoothed the sheets under me instead, busying myself with nonexistent wrinkles. “I don’t feel twelve anymore. And I have a lot more responsibility. Like for this hotel. I’ll pay you back somehow because this is …”
Suddenly, my throat tightened up and relief washed over me. I had a full belly of good food, wasn’t alone, and was free from jail. I hadn’t figured out everything with my sister, but in this hotel, with Dante, I felt a lot safer. Going out on my own after being surrounded by family had been scarier than I’d ever expected.
I struggled not to burst into tears.
You don’t realize how close to the edge you’re living until someone pulls you away from it.
“I’m really, truly thankful,” I whispered through the knot that had taken root in my throat.
“Lamb, pretty girl, what’s wrong?”
I wrinkled my nose. “No sweet names, Dante. You’ll make me believe them and cry.”
“I only say what I mean.”
Dante was too good a guy and had always been a charmer. Did he say pretty girl to most women? Did he believe that about all of them?
I breathed out a heavy sigh. “I think I’m just overwhelmed. I didn’t realize until now. I’ve wanted so badly to do all this alone and have something of my own. It’s been hard to adjust sometimes, though. And now, this. It feels like a blessing and a curse at the same time.”
“Curse, why?” He frowned at me like he couldn’t understand that anything could be wrong.
“Well, for one, jail. What am I supposed to say to everyone here? I’m supposed to be gone for days.”
“Stay holed up here and be gone, then.”
I nodded. It couldn’t be that easy, though. I picked at my nails as I thought about it all. “I said such nasty things to Izzy, Dante. And now she’s stuck in there.”
“She’ll forgive you,” he said and pulled at a strand of my hair. “And she wants to be stuck. You forget how strong the Hardy girls are, huh? And remember, not only are you strong, but it’s pretty much impossible not to forgive you.”
His stare was on me, but it looked far away as he rubbed the tress between his thumb and a finger. He’d done the same exact thing the first night we’d shared together.
It made me want to throw all my cards on the table and address the elephant in the room so we could move on. “Do you forgive me for everything?”
He smirked at me and lifted a dark eyebrow. “What was it that you did that I need to forgive you for, Lilah?”
I shoved his shoulder and then fell back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. We both lay there, the chandelier above our heads shining crystal clear down at us. Someone definitely cleaned this room every day—and a lot more thoroughly than the one I’d been staying in.
I cleared my throat, hoping to clear the air between us too. “You know exactly what I did. I shouldn’t have acted like we were just casually hooking up the first time, and I shouldn’t have stopped responding to your emails. I’m sorry for that.”
He nodded, like he was waiting for me to continue.
“In my defense, the first time … Well, you would have said no if I’d texted you what I wanted.”
“Damn right I would have said no.”
His honesty stung. “Was it that bad?”
His jaw worked next to me. “Bad to be with you? No. Never. Bad to feel like there was something more? Maybe.”
“There was more!” I said immediately. “Things changed in college. And I probably should have explained better, but what I wrote in the email was all I could say. At least I did say we could catch up when we got home.”
He grunted. “We caught up all right.”
“Dante,” I warned.
When he met my gaze, his was hard, cold, and unrelenting. “I seem to remember you getting a pretty damn good Christmas present, but that’s about all.”
“Wow.” My jaw dropped. “If you wanted an explanation so bad, maybe you should have stayed. You were gone after Christmas Eve. Then my brothers said you left the bar with a woman.” I poked him in the shoulder and then sat up, furious at myself for letting my hurt show.
“Lilah, you didn’t ask me to stay. You specifically said we were better off as friends. So I found someone who wanted to be more than that. You didn’t, right?”
I chewed on my cheek so I didn’t let my jealousy unfurl. “I didn’t.” I threw the words out fast. I couldn’t let him know that I still thought about his hands on my skin or how his eyes traveled up and down my body with a heat I’d never experienced since. I got off the bed fast, knowing that if I checked my panties right then and there, they’d be wet. “I don’t want more. I’m just saying it wasn’t as easy as me fluttering off to school where I was having so much fun.”