Ella laughed. She no longer had any wish to eat pastries. Furthermore, she realized that what she had wanted was David. To see him. To talk to him. To have him hold her hands again on the sofa in his office.
Ella covered her mouth with her left hand, shocked by her own thoughts. “I must be holding you up,” she said. “I’m sorry. I’ll let you go.”
“Are you free?” David asked, feeling bold suddenly. “Why don’t you come visit Mother. She must be dying to have a fresh face. It isn’t easy just having one dull son to rely on for visits. You’ve never met Mother. She’s wonderful. Really. Full of vinegar and life.” He was proud of his spry little mother with the sparkling ocean eyes and head full of white curls. Mrs. Greene was tougher than his father, but to her, David could do no wrong.
David watched her face, trying to guess what Ella was thinking as she paid careful attention to his words. He loved looking at her. He wished he could photograph her right at this moment. Her face was fuller and softer since she’d had her child, the line of her jaw connecting smoothly to her long neck. The curve of her breasts appeared higher, and he fought to glance at her collarbone instead, resisting a wish to touch the hollow of her throat with his hand. He had been in love with her for as long as he had known her, which was almost three years. She was engaged when he had hired her, and that should have been taboo enough for him, but his feelings had only sharpened. It was cruel how love could find you at the worst time. When she told him she was pregnant, he’d never felt so unhappy in his life, because he’d entertained a fantasy—albeit not admitted to himself—of being with her someday. And a child would make that less and less likely. Ella had thought David had been upset by the pregnancy news because then he’d have to find and train another AD of development. There were a few times he’d considered telling her about his feelings （if only for the selfish reason that it would relieve him of the pressure he felt inside）， but he sensed that such a confession would make a working relationship and perhaps a friendship between a man and a woman impossible. Also, he was terrified that she’d be repelled by such talk and take flight. In his mind, Ella was like a rare bird hidden from view. His mother, an avid birder before she got sick, said there were such creatures in this world whose shadows you were lucky to see—even just once in your life.
After Ella had left the school this morning, less than half an hour before, David recognized what he felt. It was happiness. They would work in the same building again. He’d see her in the lunchroom. Ella would be only a few doors down in Fitz’s office. Colleen was nearly shoved out of his thoughts.
David focused on Ella’s dark pink mouth, which had a natural pout. When she was concentrating on something, the pout grew more pronounced.
“Can you come? I mean, you must have so many things to do.” David felt dumb suddenly for building his air castles again.
“No, I don’t have that much to do right now. I’d love it if I could join you. I like hospitals. I must be the only girl in America who really likes going to hospitals.”
“Oh, because of your father—” David had met Dr. Shim a few times. A lovely man.
“Yes, that must be it. I always think good things. That sounds crazy, I know. The nurses and orderlies were so kind to me when I was growing up—”
Then David remembered how Ella never had a mother, and he wondered if he’d been insensitive to invite her along. Would she think he was bragging about his being a good son?
Ella wanted the clouds in his expression to disappear. “I’d like to go with you if that’s all right. Are you sure?”
David nodded emphatically. “It would please me more than you can know.” He’d meant to say it would please his mother, to have company, that is, but that’s not what came out of his mouth.
Ella smiled at him, not realizing his mistake.
“Let me, please.” David reached out to take her package, and she let him carry it for her. She kept the tea.
“Have you ever had elderberry tea?”
“No.” He shook his head.
“Try it.” She handed him the paper cup, keeping the lid, then realized both his hands were full. “Oh. . .” Ella hesitated for a moment, feeling shy, then moved the cup toward his mouth and tipped it a little so he could have a sip.
David put his mouth on the cup and took a sip. “It’s divine,” he said.
“Yes,” she said, taking it back. “It’s not too hot?”