Then he saw her. Casey was standing about ten feet away in her usual pulled-back stance from Virginia and her Ivy crowd, appearing almost forlorn. She used to be afraid of going to parties by herself. He recalled how she’d have to talk herself into speaking to strangers at parties and pretend she was good at being social. Her performance was sufficiently convincing, so no one thought she was shy or insecure. But when she didn’t try, she was viewed as aloof. If they went to a party together, and if she disappeared, he’d find her on the roof of wherever they were and she’d be smoking a cigarette, staring up at the night sky. She never made him leave the parties; instead, she’d wait for him on the roof until he was ready to go, as if she knew he had to be social, but he had to understand that she had to be alone.
She looked pretty and young in her white linen shirt and white jeans. She’d gotten thinner than he’d remembered, and her hair was a little longer. She wore her silver cuffs still, and Jay had to smile. He felt the stirring in his heart, and he had to chide himself for being a romantic fool. Keiko was a wonderful person, he told himself, and far more compatible with the life he wanted. She was not ambivalent about success and living a good life. Also, Keiko wanted him, and Casey had not. Yet the terrible truth was that the girl who broke your heart would always have more power than you liked. But she didn’t look happy now, and Jay flattered himself a little by thinking that she was thinking about him, that she was sad because they weren’t together. He felt an urge to walk over to her and kiss her. Casey, I’m here, he’d say, as though he were picking her up at the roof, let’s go now. He was full of these irrational feelings for her. But he loved Keiko, too. You could love two people at the same time. It just wasn’t practical.
Keiko didn’t miss the alteration of her fiancé’s face at the sight of the tall Asian woman. She felt a pinch of jealousy, but she reminded herself that he had chosen her after all. Keiko believed in love at first sight; their love, she was convinced, was true. She had fallen for him the moment she’d met him in their organizational behavior class. And two weeks later, they had hooked up after their section mixer. Jay had given her her first orgasm.
“Is that her?”
“Who?” he asked blithely. He smiled at Keiko and kissed her on the lips.
“Casey Han,” Keiko said loudly. Jay was charming and occasionally full of it.
Casey turned around at hearing her name. It was him. It was really Jay Currie, and he was standing beside an Asian woman who must have been Keiko Uchida, his fiancée. Her name had been burned into her mind ever since she’d read Virginia’s letter. Unlike her, Keiko was petite, maybe five two or less. She had a very pretty face, with large eyes and a small nose. Keiko’s features were more delicate than hers, and she had thin limbs and narrow feet. She wore a black shirt dress cinched in the middle by an Hermès belt.
Casey walked over to him, and Jay met her partway.
“Hello there.” Casey smiled and kissed his cheek.
“Hi, Casey. Hi.” Jay smiled broadly, feeling a little crazy inside. “I’m surprised to see you here.”
“Me too.” Casey laughed. “I’d made a promise to—” She turned to look for Virginia, who was talking with great enthusiasm to Hank Loehman, a hot boy from Ivy—a senior when they were sophomores. She smiled at her friend’s vitality. “It’s good to see—”
Jay was happy to see her smile. “This. . . this is Keiko. My fiancée.”
“Yes, I’d heard. Congratulations to you.” Casey shook Keiko’s hand firmly. She was even prettier up close. Keiko had a lovely white throat. She wore large gray Tahitian pearls in her small ears. “Virginia told me that there was a big party for your engagement. I meant to call, but I didn’t know—”
“I moved.” He nodded, hoping she’d stay and talk for a bit. He could tell she was nervous in the way her jaw seemed fixed even as her eyes were animated. But he was nervous, too. “I’m at Starling Forster now.” He rummaged in his pockets for a business card. “Here. Or you can just send me a Bloomberg.”
“That’s great. Okay. . .” She smiled and turned to Keiko. “Congratulations. It’s lovely to meet you.” She looked like a kind person, and though this was hard to take, she felt happy for Jay. She wanted to believe that he’d be happy in the end.
“I heard wonderful things about you,” Keiko said. She stood confidently with her shoulders back. “Why don’t you guys catch up? I need to run to the lav—” She smiled and gave Jay and Casey a small wave. She walked away briskly, thinking it would be better if they talked now rather than later.