Charles would not defend himself. He knew what was true, but he would quit. It was what he had thought to do anyway.
Kyung-ah climbed the stairs slowly, her joints wooden. She wanted her clothes and shoes. There was nothing she could say to the girl. So he had slept with Leah. How impossible.
Charles rushed up the stairs. He wanted to explain. She couldn’t leave now.
Casey watched them vanish behind the closed bedroom door. She stared at the pile of music in front of her. The score was one long sheet of paper, folded up like an accordion. There were several long sheets in the thick stack. In her hands, it felt like holding the insides of a book without its cover. Beneath her fingertips, she could feel the impression of the notes he’d made with his black pen. Casey picked up the entire stack and stuffed it into her tote bag. She shut the front door behind her quietly and went to work.
She was the last to arrive at the office on the morning of the offers. Starting at ten o’clock, each intern would be called in privately to speak with Charlie Seedham and whoever their senior associates were. When it was Casey’s turn, she marched into the conference room unblinkingly. Hugh was either right or wrong; there was little she could do about it now.
“How did you enjoy your summer, Casey?” Charlie asked her. He smiled pleasantly.
“It was great.” She laughed.
Karyn and Larry smiled at her, too.
“Baloney,” Charlie said, still smiling. “You were worked like a dog.”
“Yes, I was.” She winked in the direction of Karyn and Larry. Fuck ’em, she thought, then added, “But I did learn an awful lot about banking.”
“Good attitude,” Charlie said.
“She has a terrific capacity to work,” Karyn said. “Learns very quickly.”
Casey smiled at her. Karyn made her sound like an obedient mule or a fast computer.
“We’d love to have you join us when you graduate,” Charlie said. “The quality of your work was tremendous. Everyone agreed.”
“Oh,” she exclaimed.
“Congratulations,” Charlie said. She didn’t appear much different upon hearing the news.
“Thank you,” she replied, then sat up straighter.
“And when you come back—that is, if you come back. . .” Charlie paused, expecting to be interrupted. “You’d work with Karyn and Larry, most likely. A few other people, and me occasionally if you’re put on my team. Karyn is likely to get promoted this winter, as is Larry.”
“Oh, how great. Congratulations to you,” Casey said to them.
Charlie glanced down at his clipboard. “Well, good news always takes less time. I’ll see you at the lunch later?”
“Thank you so much. To all of you.” She made a point of making eye contact with each person.
“You are accepting?” Charlie asked as a matter of courtesy. It was fairly normal to accept on the spot. But she had not said yes immediately.
“Oh, am I supposed to say now?”
“No.” Charlie smiled. “You don’t have to do anything.”
“When do you need to know?”
Karyn and Larry looked at each other. Was she for real?
“A week? How’s that?” Charlie almost admired her detachment. The girl who had come through the back door would get a week to think it over.
“I’ll let you know sooner than that. Again, thank you for the summer. I learned a great deal, and that’s very important to me. Thank you.” Casey smiled at them. Their words had come as a surprise, oddly, though it was true that she had worked harder than she had ever worked. In the seventh week, she’d thought she was getting ill from lack of sleep. A part of her had never believed the offer was possible. There was an offer, she told herself, still doubting it inside. They’d said they wanted her to join them after graduation. Casey smoothed her skirt and got up.
Charlie flashed a quick grin, then asked her to send in the next person awaiting his fate in the hall.
The door closed behind her, and Casey did not know what to do. She made herself go back to the office. Hugh had been right after all. She was relieved somewhat, only a little less anxious. In a morbid way, she’d half expected him to be wrong. There was also a part of her that had wondered if Hugh might push Charlie not to give her the offer. But she couldn’t imagine Hugh doing that. It was too mean, and Hugh was not that.
Back in her office, the happy faces outnumbered the upset ones. It was obscene that it had to be this way. Why couldn’t losing be a private affair? At least two of the ones who didn’t get offers were men who had worked alongside her nearly every weekend. One of them had a baby. What was he going to do? She could hardly face them. Would they have worried about her, however, if she’d been booted? The world was cruel with its rations. Who didn’t know that? A disappointment—that’s what it was, but it was hardly the end, right? None of them would ever starve, her refugee father would’ve said quickly. Americans were goddamn lucky. The United States was a rich country. You had to work, but at the very least, you would eat. Here, they fed you even if you didn’t work, he’d say. A professional failure was zilch compared with your family lost behind the 38th parallel. Casey peeked at Scott, the guy who’d just had the baby. He was trying to be brave—be a good fucking sport about it. Her father was wrong, she thought. Suffering was that—it sucked not to get what you want. No one wanted to fail publicly, and tragedies came in an assortment of sizes.