“Italy sounds nice,” Tina said. Neither of them had been to Europe.
“And I just got that credit card last week, and if I could score a ticket, Virginia would let me crash with her, but once I’m there, I don’t know how to get work, and. . .” Her first credit card had a five-thousand-dollar credit limit. How much could a plane ticket cost? The notion of living in Italy sounded impressive and exciting, but it was ludicrous for her to think of such a thing.
Tina followed her sister’s gaze and tried to guess which window Casey was studying. Tina had no attachment to this game; to her, the round shape of someone’s dining table, the short denim skirt a woman chose to wear at home, did not seem telling. But then again, Tina was constantly being surprised by her peers at MIT—the marked difference between their appearances and tastes—whereas Casey was rarely stumped by people. Tina’s boyfriend, Chul, was more like Casey in that way; he seemed to have a natural curiosity about other people’s choices. Then Tina remembered she was supposed to phone Chul, but it was probably too late to phone his parents’ house in Maryland where he was staying for the summer.
“Do you want to go to Italy?” Tina asked.
“Not this way,” Casey answered.
“So, to Jay’s, then?”
“Yes.”
Tina didn’t know what to say about the hitting. After one of these fights, Casey hated their family. And how could Tina blame her for that? No one knew how to stop their father when he was angry. “I have two hundred you can have. And twenty in quarters.”
“I still owe you,” Casey reminded her.
Four years ago, Tina had given Casey her savings to pay for an abortion. Before Casey had met Jay, she’d gotten pregnant from a one-night stand, a guy whose name and number she’d thrown away. Since then, however, when she’d had the money to pay her sister back, a sweater, a hat, or a pair of boots seemed more pressing. Casey wished now that her credit rating were better.
“I don’t care about that money. If you hadn’t had that”—Tina clenched her jaw—“procedure—your life would’ve been ruined.”
Casey stubbed out her half-smoked cigarette—smoking was akin to burning dollar bills, but she enjoyed the wastefulness of it. Right away, she lit another.
Tina started, “I’ve seen pictures of lungs—”
“Not tonight, please. Spare me.”
“You could have spared us tonight, too,” Tina mumbled. Then, hearing the sharp truth of what she’d just said, she hoped Casey wouldn’t pick up on it.
“He was being an asshole, Tina.”
“Yes, I know that.” Tina looked hard at her sister. “So what? None of this is new to you.”
“And I suppose you would’ve handled it differently. No, brilliantly, with your excellent bedside manner, Dr. Han.” Casey had called her this since they were kids.
“I didn’t say he wasn’t being an asshole.” Tina resented Casey’s persistent wish to choose sides.
“You also didn’t say I was being an asshole, although that’s what you’re thinking. Fuck you.”
“Why? Why do I bother with you?”
“Why do you?” Casey replied, furrowing her eyebrows. “Don’t do me any favors.”
Tina’s voice grew quiet. When it came to family matters, she’d always felt as though she were the older one. “C’mon, Casey. It’s me.”
Casey exhaled, feeling stupid and alone. With her pointer finger, she tapped her right temple. “Hey, I just made up a rule. Wanna hear it?”
“Yes.” Tina offered up her baby-sister smile; it said, Tell me something I need to learn. Let me adore you again.
“One fight per night.” Casey beamed, raising her eyebrows dramatically. “I already had my one fight. So I can’t fight with you. Maybe tomorrow I can squeeze you in.”
“By all means, sign me up,” Tina said, smiling.
They grew quiet. Tina swallowed, then with her right hand reached toward Casey’s face, partly hidden in the evening shadow. “Let me see you.”
“Don’t.” Casey flinched, blowing smoke in Tina’s direction.
“You should take the money.”
“Since I’m causing the problems, it’s right that I should go.” Casey said it methodically, as if she were reciting a geometry proof. Then she muttered, “I can never catch a break here.”
“You’ll kill each other if you stay,” Tina said. “Take the money I can give you.”