“Campus security is going to see him, anyway,” Derrick had added. “He’s in front of Main Building. Their office is right there. I think Jonathan is right; we need to go. All of us getting arrested isn’t going to help anything.”
Back inside the house, I avoided Finch and joined Derrick at the window. We stood in silence for a moment.
“It’s wrong that Finch is here, Keith,” Derrick said finally.
I laughed. And it did strike me as funny that this, of all things, would be what Derrick thought I’d done wrong.
“I’m serious.” Derrick turned to look at me, eyes all narrow like he was pissed for real. “It’s messed up.”
“Messed up?” I laughed again.
But it was a little unsettling. Derrick was the guy who usually helped you forget all the bad shit you did. He didn’t call people out.
“I’m serious, Keith.” Derrick’s tone was stern. “This was supposed to be Jonathan’s weekend. What if I’d brought Beth?”
“Beth?” I gave a mock shudder. I looked over at Finch, who was chatting away with Maeve and Jonathan now. They were both smiling. Finch could be charming when he wanted to be. “I don’t know, he seems to be doing okay.”
“It’s a problem, Keith. This entire situation. You’re too beholden to Finch, and he’s— ” He shot a nasty look in Finch’s direction. “All he cares about is himself. Maybe this thing between the two of you has run its course. He’s not worth— ”
“Killing myself over?”
Derrick pressed his lips together. “Finch is definitely not worth killing yourself over.”
“Don’t worry about me, man.” I clapped a hand on Derrick’s back. “I’ve got a plan to get Finch and me into a better power equilibrium.”
Derrick. He was the plan. It had just occurred to me at that very moment. Derrick could explain to Finch the situation with London, maybe break the news in a way that softened the blow. Finch listened to Derrick, which was fucking hilarious, considering no one else did— not even Derrick’s own wife. Maybe it was because Finch had been a bit of a loser and Derrick an overachiever when they were kids.
“What’s with the long faces over here?” Finch boomed as he appeared behind us. “Loosen up, fellas. This is supposed to be fun, remember? It’s a bachelor party. We should be getting wasted and hooking up— ”
“It’s not that kind of bachelor party,” Derrick cut him off. “It’s more like, um, I don’t know— a brunch.”
Finch laughed. “Man, what the fuck are you talking about?”
“No one is going to hook up, that’s what I mean,” Derrick said. “Or get wasted.”
“Did that wife of yours finally cut your dick off, Derrick?” Finch asked.
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Finch was a motherfucker, but he had a point: Beth was as forgiving as a razor blade.
“Shut up, Finch.” Derrick shot him a look.
“Just be sure to stay away from Maeve,” I said. Stirring up someone else’s pot to distract from my own shit stew. “She and Derrick have a thing.”
“What are you talking about?” Derrick squeaked. “We don’t have a thing.”
“Come on, you and Maeve have a thing, Derrick,” I said, but more seriously now. They did, and Beth was making Derrick miserable. “I’m just saying: life’s short, you know?”
I knew this firsthand. The mistake of thinking you had time.
“Knock it off, Keith,” Derrick said as his eyes shot over to Maeve on the other side of the room. “We do not have a— ”
The doorbell rang. The sound was like a fist in my gut.
“Who’s that?” Maeve asked Jonathan breezily.
My palms were already damp, and all I could hear was my breathing.
“I have no idea.” Jonathan gave a casual shrug.
But I saw the look on his face, the fear in his eyes. It was the same feeling that was lodged in the back of my own throat— the sick realization that something you’ve been trying to outrun has finally caught up with you.
ALICE
Everyone is acting like there’s nothing we can do now except pretend it didn’t happen. But it did happen. We all know that it did. And we could still say something. There’s still time for the truth.
And I know— maybe I only care so much because I’m the most to blame for what happened. I was angry at Keith when we walked into the Dutch Cabin. Not just because his hands were on some other girl at the party. But because his hands were always on some girl, at some party. Lately, I was starting to wonder if he was actually doing it on purpose. Like maybe he wanted me to break up with him.