“Are you okay?” she asked as she climbed in.
I nodded, gripping the steering wheel so I wasn’t tempted to reach for her. “I feel like a jerk, but I’m fine.”
“Keith is the jerk, not you. You were trying to be a good friend. Where have you looked so far?”
I’d looked everywhere, that was the bottom line. I’d been at it for nearly an hour already. And I’d texted Keith at least fifteen times before getting back in the car and driving around town. Of course, if he didn’t want me finding him, he wouldn’t be found. I’d known the risks— that Keith might be lying about meeting Finch, using me so that he could buy drugs downtown. That maybe he’d even slip away and head to the train station to avoid rehab. But I hadn’t been thinking very clearly. I was too worried that Keith was going to see Finch, and that Finch would tell him what I’d done that morning, maybe also about the pictures of Maeve in my bag. What if it all got back to her?
After I left the Falls, I’d made three bigger and bigger circles around downtown, weaving my way up and down the streets, but there was no sign of Keith. There was no sign of anyone besides the customers going in and out of the Falls, including apparently Jonathan and Stephanie, according to her text, but I hadn’t seen them any of the times I passed.
Stephanie did tell me that Keith had seemed frightened of something or someone when they last spoke. But she didn’t know of who or what, so the information succeeded only in making me feel more stressed. It seemed pretty obvious now that whatever was going on didn’t have anything to do with Finch.
And so three times I’d driven past the rest of the stores, all long closed, and the big old Victorian homes on the edge of downtown, disintegrating and boarded up until I finally accepted it: I’d lost Keith. I pulled to the side at the dark dead end of Main Street, alongside those once-beautiful houses, to text Maeve. To make sure Keith hadn’t stopped back at Jonathan’s house— and because I just needed to talk to her.
Keith’s gone.
A response, right away: What?
I know, I’m an idiot. He took off.
There was a long pause. I imagined Maeve sitting in the living room, debating what to say to me. Annoyed, of course. They were all going to be annoyed with me. She was probably wondering how much she should let me off the hook. Maybe even because she felt sorry for me, or obligated. Because of my feelings for her. But I didn’t want Maeve’s pity. I wanted Maeve.
Come get me. I’ll help. We’ll find him together. This isn’t your fault, Derrick.
Maeve understood. Because she was a good person, a hopeful person. Always seeing the best in other people. And that’s exactly why I was in love with her. And, yes, I did secretly hope that her offering to come with me was a sign that she loved me back.
“I’ve looked everywhere around downtown. Keith’s definitely not there,” I said to her now as I started to drive.
“What about at the Farm?”
Of course that could be. If Keith had wanted to buy, he might go there. Maybe it was even somebody there that he was afraid of, like Stephanie had said. I wouldn’t put it past Keith to already owe the wrong people in Kaaterskill.
I nodded. “We should check.”
We parked on the same deserted strip of dirt road behind the dark barn. I thought of Crystal’s legs, so heavy as we’d carried her, the awful soft give of her skin. All of it had been so much worse than I imagined. And yet far easier to forget than it should ever have been.
“Stay here,” Maeve said, reaching for her door.
“Are you crazy?” I asked. “That’s not safe.” I knew better than to say for a woman. But I was thinking it. Maeve was tiny.
“What’s crazy is you risking being seen here again. I’ll go quickly, and I’ll be careful. If someone sees me, I’ll run. These days I’m faster than I look.”
I lifted my hands. “Okay. But be careful. Please.”
“Just turn the car around and be ready to leave. I plan to be quick.”
Maeve emerged a couple minutes later, stride forceful, in one piece, but with a grim look on her face.
“No luck, huh?” I asked as she got back in the car.
She shook her head. “I heard voices down in that other building. But a lot— ten or fifteen people maybe? Like a party. I’m sorry, I know I insisted on being the one to go and then kind of chickened out. But even if Keith is at that party, I don’t think it would be a good idea for either one of us to go in. We’d be so outnumbered. Maybe in the morning?”