Before I could even feel disappointment, before I could truly process the silky promise in his words, he shifted his hand lower, pressing his fingers against the very center of me while his thumb rolled over the part that throbbed. There was nothing slow about his movements then. He knew exactly what he was doing with all that swirling, inescapable tension. Hawke shifted beside me, somehow, working his other arm under my shoulders. He hauled me flush against his front, and I was no longer just moving against his hand, but against him, the rolls of my hips erratic and sharp. Soft, low moans escaped my lips. I felt trapped, wonderfully pinned between his hand and the hard, unyielding length of his body. Something…something was happening. It was what his kisses and brief touches before had hinted at and promised. My body suddenly went as tight as a bowstring taking aim, and my lips parted a second before Hawke folded his hand over my mouth, silencing the moan I wouldn’t have been able to suppress. His hot mouth moved against the side of my throat, his lips, his teeth. There was a wicked sharpness—
The tension broke. I broke. Pleasure whipped out, intense and sudden. It was like standing on a ledge and then being pushed over. I fell, shuddering in pulsing, throbbing waves, and I kept falling until the hand between my legs slowed and then stopped. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, or when Hawke’s fingers slipped from my thighs or his hand eased away from my mouth. My heart was only beginning to slow when I became aware of his hand pressed against my stomach, and his arm curled around my shoulders, keeping my boneless body snug against his.
I thought maybe I should say something but…what? Thank you seemed inappropriate. And I thought that it wasn’t entirely fair that he had given me this, while I gave him nothing of the sort. Plus, I thought that I should probably look to see if Kieran or any of the other guards had noticed what Hawk had done—what we’d done under the blankets, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I couldn’t get any words out.
“I know you’re not going to admit it,” Hawke said, voice low and thick. “But you and I both will always know that I was right.”
My lips curved into a faint, sleepy smile.
He was right.
Again.
Chapter 31
When I woke just before dawn, I couldn’t believe how soundly and deeply I’d slept. It was as if I hadn’t been lying on the hard ground but in the lushest of beds.
I didn’t think I would’ve woken up on my own if it hadn’t been for the sound of hushed conversation near me.
“We made it farther than I thought we would,” Hawke said, his voice low. “We should reach Three Rivers before nightfall.”
“We can’t stay there,” came the response, and I recognized Kieran’s voice. “You know that.”
There was a lot of Descenter activity at Three Rivers, so that made sense. I blinked open my eyes. Through the gloom, I saw them standing a few feet from me. I flushed when my gaze lifted to Hawke. There wasn’t much I could see of his face, but I thought about what we’d done.
“I know.” Hawke’s arms were crossed. “If we break halfway to Three Rivers, we can ride through the night and make it to New Haven by morning.”
“You ready for that?” Kieran asked, and my brows knitted.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You think I haven’t noticed what’s been going on?”
My heart kicked against my chest. Immediately, my mind conjured up the image of Kieran patrolling while Hawke had whispered such indecent, wicked words in my ear. Had Kieran seen us?
Oh gods. My skin prickled and turned hot, but under the embarrassment, I was surprised to find there wasn’t a single ounce of regret. I wouldn’t take back a second of what I felt.
Hawke didn’t answer, and my mind quickly went to the worst-case scenarios. Did he regret it? What we’d done wasn’t just forbidden for me. While I wasn’t aware of the exact rules established for Royal Guards, I was pretty sure that what Hawke and I had done, what we’d been doing, wasn’t something the Commander would overlook.
But Hawke had to know that.
Just like I knew. And yet, I still did it.
“Remember what your task is,” Kieran stated when Hawke didn’t respond.
Kieran stared at Hawke and repeated. “Remember what your task is.”
“I haven’t forgotten for one second.” His voice hardened. “Not one.”
“Good to know.”
Hawke started to turn toward me, and I closed my eyes, not wanting them to realize that I’d heard their conversation. I felt him stop, followed a moment later by the touch of his fingers on my cheek.