“Please. Don’t stop,” he rasped, jaw clenched as his fingers stilled on my breast. “Dear gods, do not stop.”
I focused on his face as I touched him. There were so many tiny reactions throughout his entire body. His jaw popped, and his lips parted slightly. The lines of his face became sharper, and the tendons in his neck stretched as I curled my hand around him. He kicked his head back, and his large, powerful body trembled. I noted how rapidly his breathing had become as I slid my hand down to where our bodies were almost joined. He gave a full-body shudder then, and I was awed by how much my touch affected him. I tightened my grip, becoming more confident.
“Gods,” he growled.
“Is this okay?”
“Anything you do is more than okay.” His voice had deepened even more. “But especially that. Totally that.”
I laughed softly, and then I did it again, drawing my hand up and down his length. His hips moved then, much like mine had, rolling against my palm, against me. He made a sound, a deep, dark rumble that sent a flush of pleasure through me.
“You see what your touch does to me?” he asked, his hips following my hand.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“It kills me.” His head dropped, and those eyes… They seemed almost luminous as he stared down at me, and then his thick lashes lowered, shielding them from view. “It kills me in a way I don’t think you’ll ever understand.”
My gaze searched his face. “In a…in a good way?”
Hawke’s features softened as he lifted his hand to cup my cheek. “In a way I’ve never felt before.”
“Oh.”
He dipped his head, kissing me as he shifted onto his left arm. His hand left my cheek and slid down the length of my body until it was between us. “Are you ready?”
Breath catching, I nodded.
“I want to hear you say it.”
The corners of my lips tugged up. “Yes.”
“Good, because I might have actually died if you weren’t.”
I giggled, surprised by the light sound in such a tense, important moment.
“You think I’m kidding. Little do you know,” he teased, kissing me again before he pushed in just a little bit. He stopped, making that sound again. “Oh, yeah, you’re so ready.”
My entire body flushed and trembled.
Hawke’s gaze lifted to mine once more. “You amaze me.”
“How?” I whispered, confused. I’d done almost nothing while he…he shattered me with the kind of kisses I’d only ever read about.
“You stand before Craven with no fear.” He dragged his lips over mine. “But you blush and shiver when I speak of how slick and wonderful you feel against me.”
I was definitely flushing even more now. “You’re so inappropriate.”
“I’m about to get really inappropriate,” he promised. “But first, it may hurt.”
I knew enough about sex to know that. “I know.”
“Reading dirty books again?”
A flutter started in my stomach and spread. “Possibly.”
He chuckled, but it ended in a groan as he began to move.
There was pressure and a moment when I wasn’t sure how he could go any farther, and then a sudden, sharp sting stole my breath as I squeezed my eyes shut. Fingers digging into his shoulders, I tensed. I knew there’d be some pain, but all the languid warmth turned to chips of ice.
Hawke stilled above me, breathing heavily. “I’m sorry.” His lips touched my nose, the lids of my eyes, my cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
He kissed me again, softly, and then rested his forehead against mine. A shallow breath lifted my chest. That was it. I’d crossed the final, forbidden line. There was no shock of guilt or burst of panic. Truthfully, I’d crossed that line when Hawke had kissed me before knowing who I was, and everything that led to this very moment had slowly erased that barrier until it no longer existed. There’d been no going back since the night at the Red Pearl, and this…this felt too right for it not to be, in some way, destined. I felt like I was supposed to be right here, in this very moment, with Hawke, where it mattered who I was and not what I was. It didn’t matter if the gods found me unworthy because I was worthy of this—of laughter and excitement, of happiness and anticipation, of safety and acceptance, of pleasure and experience, of everything Hawke made me feel. And he was worthy of whatever consequences came from this because this wasn’t just about him. I knew that from the moment I’d asked him to stay.