Suddenly too tired to stand there and argue, I walked over to one of the two chairs by the fire, all too aware of how the sides of my gown parted, revealing nearly the entire length of my leg.
And all too aware of how Hawke tracked every step.
“That was the first time I was in the Red Pearl.” I sat, letting my hands fall to my lap. “And the reason I was on the second floor was because Vikter came in.” I wrinkled my nose as I gave a little shudder. “He would’ve recognized me, mask or not. I went upstairs because a woman told me the room was empty.” I still felt as if she had set me up, but that was neither here nor there at the moment. “I’m not telling you this because I feel like I need to explain myself, I’m just…telling the truth. I didn’t know you were in the room.”
He remained where he stood. “But you knew who I was,” he said, and that wasn’t a question.
“Of course.” I shifted my gaze to the fire. “Your arrival had already stirred up quite a bit of…talk.”
“Flattered,” he murmured.
My lips twitched as I watched the flames curl and ripple over the thick logs of wood. “Why I decided to stay in the room isn’t up for discussion.”
“I know why you stayed in the room,” he said.
“You do?”
“It makes sense now.”
I thought back to that night and remembered what he had said. He’d seemed to sense that I was there to experience, to live. Now that he knew what I was, it would make sense.
But that still wasn’t something I was willing to discuss. “What are you going to do about me being on the Rise?”
He didn’t answer for a long moment, and then he walked to where I sat, his long-legged prowl full of fluid grace. “May I?” He gestured to the empty seat.
I nodded.
Sitting across from me, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his bent knees. “It was Vikter who trained you, wasn’t it?”
My pulse skipped, but I kept my face blank.
“It had to be him. You two are close, and he’s been with you since you arrived in Masadonia.”
“You’ve been asking questions.”
“I’d be stupid not to learn everything I could about the person I’m duty-bound to die to protect.”
He had a very good point there. “I’m not going to answer your question.”
“Because you’re afraid I’ll go to the Duke, even though I didn’t before?”
“You said out on the Rise that you should,” I reminded him. “That it would make your job easier. I’m not going to bring anyone else down with me.”
He inclined his head. “I said I should, not that I would.”
“There’s a difference?”
“You should know there is.” His gaze flickered over my face. “What would His Grace do if I had gone to him?”
My fingers curled inward. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Then why did you say I had no idea what he’d do? You sounded as if you were going to say more but stopped yourself.”
I looked away, staring at the fire. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”
Hawke was quiet for a long moment. “Both you and Tawny reacted strangely to his summons.”
“We weren’t expecting to hear from him.” The lie rolled off my tongue.
There was another pause. “Why were you in your room for almost two days after being summoned by him?”
Sharp, biting pain radiated from where my nails dug into my palms. The flames were dying, flickering softly.
“What did he do to you?” Hawke asked, his voice too soft.
Suffocating shame crept up my throat, tasting acidic. “Why do you even care?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked, and again, he sounded unbelievably sincere.
My head turned before I realized what I was doing. He’d sat back, hands curled around the arms of the wingback chair. “You don’t know me—”
“I bet I know you better than most.”
Heat creeped into my cheeks. “That doesn’t mean you know me, Hawke. Not enough to care.”
“I know you’re not like the other members of the Court.”
“I’m not a member of the Court,” I pointed out.
“You’re the Maiden. You’re viewed as a child of the gods by the commoners. They see you higher than an Ascended, but I know you’re compassionate. That night at the Red Pearl, when we talked about death, you genuinely felt sympathy for any losses I’d experienced. It wasn’t a forced nicety.”