Mac swings his arms over our shoulders, pulling us into his sides as Simone frames the selfie. On the screen, I look washed out next to Mac’s striking features and Simone’s artfully applied makeup. My smile is real, though, widening as Mac turns and presses an unexpected kiss against Simone’s cheek.
He looks pleased by her resulting giggle.
“You want me, don’t you,” he says proudly. Before she can answer, he turns to me, waggling his eyebrows. His thumb begins to stroke my arm.
“Mac.” I try to keep my voice stern, but I can’t help laughing with Simone. It’s like being pawed by a puppy.
“I love this game,” Simone says brightly, snapping another picture. “I still don’t really understand what prompted it, but I’m game.”
“It’s all about the challenge,” I tell her, rolling my eyes. “This madness only started because Deiss overheard Phoebe and me saying we’d never mess up our friendships by getting romantically involved with Mac or Deiss.”
“But not really me,” Mac says to Simone. “I don’t count.”
“Of course you count,” I say.
“Well, yeah. For you.” Mac laughs. “Sorry. That was confusing. I meant I don’t count for Phoebe.”
Simone and I look at each other, then look slowly back to Mac.
“Phoebe was specifically talking about you, Mac,” I say.
“But Phoebe and I have slept together a thousand times,” he says.
“And then you broke up with her,” I say. “Remember? Five years ago? It’s why you don’t sleep together anymore.”
“Right,” he says. “But there’s nothing to stop us from getting back together.”
“It kind of sounds like there is, though, doesn’t it?” Simone sets an uncharacteristically gentle hand on Mac’s shoulder. “Isn’t that pretty much what Liv is saying?”
Mac looks at me with wide eyes.
“This is not a revelation,” I say. “You guys have been broken up for ages. All Phoebe said is that she wouldn’t do anything to risk your friendship.”
“Well, that’s good,” Mac says, although his face says something different. “She’s my best friend.”
“And you’re hers,” I say. “See? That’s not the kind of thing either of you would want to ruin.”
“Yeah.” Mac nods, but his eyes linger on Phoebe and Deiss. “I’m just going to go find out what they’re talking about.”
Simone and I stare after him together, and then Simone leans in closer.
“Do you have a bad feeling about that?” she asks.
I sigh down at the crocodile that is slowly moving away. “I don’t even know what just happened.”
“I think you just told him the love of his life had closed the door on him.”
“If she was the love of his life, he wouldn’t have broken up with her,” I say.
“No,” Simone says firmly. “If she wasn’t the love of his life, he would’ve cheated on her instead of breaking up with her.”
I roll my eyes. “Am I supposed to be impressed by his restraint?”
“Yeah, actually. They’d been together since they were kids, and they both needed to see what else was out there. You know Mac. He’s all impulse. That might be the only time in his life that he thought a situation through and did the right thing.”
I open my mouth to argue but am cut off by someone yelling about hippos. The guide points to the other side of the boat, and like everyone else, I find myself running to the other side. It’s a whole pod of them. I’ve never seen a hippo before. I’ve never even thought of them as real. They’ve always been cartoons in my mind, but there’s nothing cartoonish about them. They look old, even the baby at the edge of the water. Their skin is like thick, weathered leather. They’re massive, bigger than I imagined, and the thoughts of Phoebe and Mac fade against their enormity.
I take a couple of pictures, but it seems silly. I’ll never forget these animals. I’ll never forget any of this. It’s hard to imagine that I’ve gone from my cubicle to here in a matter of days. Not one of my books told me what it would be like to hear the lap of water and feel the sun on my face as I float down an estuary. They didn’t describe the awe of seeing things I’ve only ever seen on TV. But they should have.
I leave the crowd and return to the empty side of the boat, leaning against the railing to search for my own discovery. Wind ruffles my hair, and I pull my sunglasses to the top of my head to keep it back. With the blanket of jet lag still hovering over me, it feels like this could all be a dream. A bird trills above as I search the water for a crocodile. When I don’t find one, I scan the banks for another exotic bird. Instead, I spot more monkeys.