“Oh.” Phoebe averts her eyes. “Why would I be jealous of her? She had that terrible giggle. It was like the helium being forced out of a balloon, right? It’s perfectly natural that I wanted to stick a pin in her.”
“Um, Phoebe?” Simone says. “Her laugh was completely normal.”
“Was it?” Phoebe shrugs and takes a sip of her coffee. “I thought she sounded like a cartoon chipmunk. But I guess Mac heard what you heard.”
“He’s been kind of weird on this trip,” Simone says.
“Right?” Phoebe looks around furtively, as if the patio isn’t completely empty aside from us. “He’s been quieter than normal. It’s almost like he’s thinking about something, which is bizarre, because he’s the sweetest guy in the world, but let’s face it—Mac isn’t exactly one for introspection.”
“It’s like he’s been studying you,” I admit reluctantly.
“He has?” Phoebe looks way too intrigued by this nugget of information.
I nod and shove a piece of the naartjie in my mouth. The sweet, tangy flavor explodes against my taste buds. A single raindrop sneaks through the clouds and lands on my arm. Monkeys chatter in the distance.
“And what about the campfire, when he was rambling about best friends?” Simone says. “Awkward.”
“If you think that was awkward,” Phoebe says, “you should’ve been in our tent that night.”
“Did something happen?” It takes effort to ask the question in a neutral tone. I’ll support Phoebe in anything she wants to do—of course I will. But she created the pact for a reason. She was the one who said the two of them getting back together would be a terrible idea. And selfishly, I’ve never felt that more intensely than I do now, after the escape from my dreary life this trip has provided.
I need to know there are more of these adventures to come. I need to believe I haven’t missed all my chances to see the world with the people I love most.
“Not intentionally.” Phoebe grimaces. “I woke up to the stomping of the elephants, and his arms were around me. He must’ve started cuddling me in his sleep, which is innocent enough. But then I got scared, so I scooted closer into him. And his arms tightened around me.” She sighs. “He never even woke up, but it was a reminder I wish I hadn’t gotten.”
“A reminder of what?” Simone asks.
“Of how it felt to be connected to him like that. I’ve never met someone else who’s so completely themselves.” Phoebe looks at me pleadingly like she needs me to understand. “He thinks something, he says it. He wants something, he grabs it. It was like Mac was this other half of me, making everything okay. And now that he’s gone, I don’t know how to enjoy anything the same way.”
“Yes, you do,” I say confidently. “You’ve just forgotten because you’ve been here with him. Remember how you celebrated when you got your first feature piece in the magazine? Mac wasn’t even in the state. He was in New York on a job. And remember the time you spent with that British businessman before he went back home? You certainly seemed to enjoy yourself then. For two weeks, the only texts I received from you consisted entirely of eggplant emojis.”
“Oh.” Phoebe’s eyes drift toward the ceiling. “He was fun.”
“Exactly.” I dig my spoon emphatically into the gelatinous seeds of a halved passion fruit. “This might be my first time traveling, but I’m already realizing it has a way of blurring all the boundaries between people. It’s like it’s too much contact, you know? And you’re in this strange place and you totally forget who you even are in real life. But none of that matters because we have a pact. You care too much about the friendship—with him, and between all of us—to break it. Right?”
“Right.” Her response is lacking the conviction I’d prefer, but it will do.
“Right,” I agree. Resolutely, I spoon some passion fruit into my mouth. The tiny black seeds in the center crunch between my teeth.
Naturally, I’m attempting to pick them out when Deiss shows up. He doesn’t seem to notice, though. He just snags a coffee mug so tightly it looks like he wants to tilt it up over his face and lick the insides. He’d probably look haggard if he weren’t so tan. As it is, he’s half sunshine, half sultry evening. It’s tremendously unfair. If I’d spent the night being bounced around a bed, I’d be a tangled mess the next morning. I certainly wouldn’t look like I was searching for sustenance to get me through the next round.