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Funny You Should Ask(21)

Author:Elissa Sussman

I glanced over at him, but he was being paid the big acting bucks for a reason—his face was inscrutable. I couldn’t tell if he loved the place or was five seconds away from picking up a chair and throwing it through the glass doors because he wanted nine bedrooms, dammit!

Even though he’d gotten more than a little drunk during lunch, he didn’t seem the type to throw a tantrum over the number of bedrooms available to him.

“Do you mind if I take a look around?” Gabe asked the real estate agent.

“Not at all,” she said, taking the hint and leaving the room.

We were in the kitchen. It was clean and modern, with shiny chrome everything and big windows that opened up onto a yard that was truly gorgeous. Impeccably maintained, it looked like a museum lawn.

“What do you think?” Gabe asked.

“It’s beautiful,” I said honestly.

He looked at me and crossed his arms. “But?”

“How do you know there’s a but?” I asked, immediately regretting the way I’d worded that.

He laughed. It was a great laugh, all low and dark and rich. If chocolate cake had a laugh, it would be that.

I kept moving my hand toward my bag, my fingers itching to pull out my tape recorder again, but I was worried that if I did, the happy, relaxed look on Gabe’s face would disappear.

Instead, I just tried to remember as much as I could, hoping that I could use this in my piece.

“You’re not in love,” he said.

“What?”

He gestured. “With the house,” he said. “I can tell.”

The puppy was playing in the grass outside, her tail twitching as she flopped from side to side.

“What don’t you like about it?” he asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I’m not the one buying the house.”

Why did Gabe care what I thought about a multimillion-dollar mansion that he might or might not buy? It’s not like I’d be coming over to hang out at his pool on the weekends. I almost snarkily suggested that he call Jacinda and ask her, but I held my tongue.

“I’d still like to hear your thoughts,” Gabe said. “Would you buy this house?”

I laughed. “There’s no universe where I’d be in a position to buy a house like this. It’s huge!”

Gabe nodded. “It is pretty large.”

“Are your mom and sister going to move to L.A.?” I asked.

This time, he was the one who laughed. “I can get my family here for premieres and awards, but that’s about it. There’s no way either of them would consider moving to L.A. They love Montana too much to leave. Besides, they have the Cozy.”

I nodded. I thought about telling him that I had ordered a few books from them online, which I’d received with a handwritten note thanking me for my business and a recommendation for another book based on the ones I’d just bought. The suggestion had been spot-on and I ended up ordering it from them as well.

Mentioning it to Gabe, though, felt a little teacher’s pet-y.

“Do you visit them a lot?” I asked.

Gabe nodded, still looking around. “I bought a house for my mom and then helped my sister and brother-in-law with the down payment on theirs. I usually stay at an apartment above the store when I visit.” He put his hands on his hips. “My manager said that it’s a waste of money to keep renting a house here—that I should just buy something.”

“You’d have plenty of space for your family when they come to visit,” I said.

“I told them I wanted a pool and guest rooms, but now that I’m seeing it, I don’t know if I need this much space.” He looked thoughtful. “I like my current place a lot.”

“It is really nice,” I agreed. “Seems like it suits you.”

He grinned at me as if I’d said something profound. “That’s funny,” he said. “Because even though I’ve never lived here before, the place feels kind of nostalgic for me. Almost like it’s part of a collective memory about Los Angeles.” He leaned back on his heels. “It has this great energy, you know?”

I did know.

“Sorry,” he said. “That probably sounds pretty cheesy. It’s just I can totally picture Brian Wilson hanging out by my pool, or Dennis Hopper rummaging through my fridge.”

I nodded eagerly. “I know exactly what you mean. You can practically smell the weed and righteous rebellion.”

He laughed.

“You should get a house like that,” I said. “Not something big and grand like this. A home.”

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