“You’re wrong!” He stormed away from them to face the starlit windows, his shoulders high and tense. “I’d do it for you. Sometimes I think I’d betray everything I hold dear for the chance to—”
His voice broke; he fell silent. Rielle turned away, arms tightly crossed over her front. Audric’s servants had prepared his fire for the night. The crackling flames and popping wood were the only sounds in the room for several long minutes.
Then Ludivine cleared her throat. “There’s no need to give up anything, you know. Not the crown, and not each other. You would just need to be…discreet.” She smoothed her skirts. “I could help you, as needed.”
Rielle stared at her. Ludivine had taken her to Garver Randell for a contraceptive tonic, yes, but to hear her suggest such a thing so plainly, as if they were all merely discussing the weather, left Rielle without words.
Audric laughed in astonishment. “Lu, are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”
“That you be together?” Ludivine raised an eyebrow. “Yes. In secret, of course, but soon. And as often as possible, so I’m spared the agony of your tortured pining.” She leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes. “It’s exhausting to witness. I’ve reached my limit.”
Heart racing, not daring to look at Audric, Rielle breathed, “I can’t believe you’re actually saying this.”
“Why not? I’ve told you both how I feel about the situation.” Ludivine smiled, eyes still closed. “Or do you doubt my word?”
“No, it’s not that, it’s just—” The images crowding Rielle’s mind made a delighted heat climb up her cheeks. “Wouldn’t you be embarrassed?”
“That my dearest friends could be happier than they’ve ever been? Why would that embarrass me?”
“Maybe ‘embarrass’ isn’t the right word.” Rielle did look at Audric, then. Half in shadow, he frowned at the floor.
“If we’re discovered,” he said at last, “even if we explained that you knew and approved, it could be humiliating for all of us, but especially for you.”
“Oh, is that what could happen?” said Ludivine blandly. “I hadn’t realized.”
Rielle let out a rush of nervous laughter. “We would just have to…not be discovered.”
Audric scrubbed a hand over his face. “It’s not as simple as that.”
“Of course it is.” Ludivine watched him fondly. “We’ll be careful, and you’ll… Well, Audric, you’ll have to get good at lying somehow.”
“And your family? What about them? If my mother finds out? Or your father? He’ll be studying us closely now.”
“I can handle my family.”
For a long time, Audric stared at the crackling flames.
“We can’t,” he said at last, his voice heavy. “Something is happening in Borsvall. The attacks on the border, that report I read… House Sauvillier is our strongest defense against whatever might come south. While we sort out what’s happening, we need your father and his soldiers to remain loyal to the crown. And they surely will not if they discover that Rielle and I are having an affair.”
Rielle struggled to speak past a rising despair. “But, Audric—”
“What did you tell my father, weeks ago? Enough lies have been told, enough secrets kept?” He glanced at her. “This is not how I want us to begin.”
“And I don’t care how we begin,” she protested, stepping toward him, “as long as we do.”
In the blazing silence, Audric’s gaze dropped to her lips and then away.
“Perhaps,” Ludivine said after a moment, “you can simply wait a while. Until the danger at the border has passed and my father’s temper has cooled.”
Rielle threw up her hands. “And then what? He’ll suddenly be happy when we tell him what will happen next? Sorry, Lord Dervin, but your daughter won’t be queen after all?”
“No, he won’t be happy,” replied Ludivine evenly, “but he won’t be as angry.”
“And the kingdom will hopefully be stable, then, and safe,” finished Audric. “Whatever attacked our border will have been found out and vanquished.” He took a deep breath, dragged a hand through his curls.
Rielle moved to stand before him. She refused to touch him, though her body ached to.
“Is this really what you want?” she whispered.