“I have some unfortunate news,” Morelli said.
My first thought was that in his current breast exploration he had discovered a lump.
“Oh crap,” I said.
“I know this isn’t a good way to start down the path to your bedroom, but I need to get it out there so we can move on.”
“Tell me.”
“It’s my uncle Sergio’s eightieth birthday Sunday and we have to go to his party.”
“That’s it? That’s the unfortunate news?”
“Yeah.”
Huge relief. No lump. On the downside, I had to endure a Morelli family party.
“Do I know Uncle Sergio?” I asked.
“Grandma Bella’s brother.”
“Is this the one who looks like a bald eagle? White hair, crazy beady eyes, hook nose, and walks hunched over?”
“Yep, that’s him.”
“He stares at my breasts.”
“He can’t help it,” Morelli said. “He’s only five feet four and the vertebrae in his neck are fused together. Anyway, if you’ve got to be stuck staring at something, your breasts are a good place to start.”
“Any other bad news?”
“Isn’t that enough?”
“Is there good news?”
“Give me ten minutes and I’ll make you forget all about the bad news.”
“Ten minutes might not be enough time,” I said.
“How about twenty minutes?”
“You’ve got it. You’re on the clock.”
“It would help if you got naked,” Morelli said.
It took me fifteen seconds to completely strip down in the kitchen. “Okay,” I said. “I’m ready.”
“Me, too,” Morelli said.
That was stating the obvious. Morelli was way ahead of me.
A half hour later we had our clothes back on and we were watching baseball. I love going to the ballpark to see the Mets play, but watching it on television is like watching grass grow. Fortunately, Morelli had kept his promise and we were now feeling relaxed and mellow and didn’t really care that the Mets had changed pitchers twice in the last ten minutes.
“I remember when we used to spend hours having sex,” I said to Morelli. “What happened?”
“We got better at it,” Morelli said. “Now we can have sex and still have time to watch baseball.” Morelli wrapped his arm around me and cuddled me closer. “This is nice. It was good, right?”
“Yes.” Good was an understatement. It was spectacular.
“We should do this more often.”
“Like tomorrow?”
“Like in about forty-five minutes,” Morelli said.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I woke up smiling, enjoying the feel of a warm body in bed with me. It took a few moments for me to realize it was Bob and not Morelli.
“G’morning,” I said to Bob, and he thumped his tail in happiness.
Morelli sauntered in with a coffee cup in his hand. He hadn’t shaved in celebration of Saturday, and he looked dangerous and sexy. He was wearing jeans and a plaid flannel shirt that was untucked.
“I promised Anthony that I’d help him install a fence in his backyard this morning,” he said. “I should be done around noon, and I thought maybe we could do something together this afternoon.”
“Sounds good. I was planning on working but I’d be happy to cut it down to half a day. Call me when you’re done with the fence.”
Anthony is Morelli’s brother. He’s a fun guy with a big heart and a wandering dick. He has a pack of kids and a wife who keeps divorcing him and remarrying him. I like Anthony, but I wouldn’t want to be married to him.
Morelli and Bob were gone by the time I was showered and dressed. My kitchen is small and unintentionally retro with Formica countertops and inexpensive dated appliances. This is okay with me because I don’t actually cook. I defrost and reheat food from my mom, and I eat a lot of peanut butter. I haven’t got room for a table in the kitchen and my dining room table serves as my office, so most of the time I eat standing at the sink.
I was currently at the sink, enjoying my coffee and leftover chocolate cake, when I heard someone fumbling at my door. Seconds later Diesel walked in.
“You could knock,” I said. “It isn’t necessary to always jiggle my doorknob, or whatever it is that you do to unlock a door.”
He found a fork and tested the cake. “I like to stay sharp with my skills.”
“You just missed Morelli.”
“I passed him on the road. What are your plans for the day?”