“I needed an éclair, and the bakery was closed,” Mary Jane said. “It wasn’t supposed to be closed. They closed early.”
“I didn’t know that,” Lula said. “That might make a difference.”
Mary Jane rocked back and forth with the baby. “I gave up smoking and drinking and coffee to have this baby. And now I’m breastfeeding so I’m still off smoking, drinking, and coffee. Do you know what’s left? An éclair. All I wanted was a stinking éclair. My mother-in-law came over to babysit, so I could go to my ob-gyn appointment, and after my appointment I had ten minutes left to go to the bakery and get an éclair.”
“And the bakery closed early,” Lula said.
“Exactly,” Mary Jane said.
“That’s outrageous,” Lula said. “They had no business doing that. Still, I had to eat a bagel on account of you shot up the éclairs and the custard-filled doughnuts.”
“I was able to get the front door open, but when I got inside, the refrigerator case with the éclairs was locked. Locked! I mean it was the last straw. What the Hellman’s Mayonnaise do I have to do to get an éclair?”
“You could have just stolen some cookies,” Lula said. “Nobody would have minded. They’re usually stale anyway.”
“I wanted an éclair,” Mary Jane said. “I needed an éclair. I totally freaked when I couldn’t get in the case. I found a gun behind the counter and I just started shooting.”
“You had bakery rage,” Lula said.
“Yes!” Mary Jane said. “Bakery rage!”
“I hear what you’re saying,” Lula said. “I get rage at the drive-thru when they short me on the fries. That’s why I don’t go to the drive-thru anymore. You always get forked at the drive-thru.”
A tear rolled down Mary Jane’s cheek. “I’ve got too many hormones. I’m a mess. It’s not easy having a baby and I’ve pushed out four of them.”
“I never pushed out a baby,” Lula said. “I had hemorrhoids once and that wasn’t a treat.”
“And look at my hair. Look at my nails,” Mary Jane said. “I haven’t had a salon appointment since before the baby was born. My breasts leak milk when I walk past the baby food section in the supermarket. A woman shouldn’t be expected to be rational in this condition.”
“The thing is, you missed your court date,” I said to Mary Jane. “We have to take you downtown so you can reschedule.”
“Okay,” Mary Jane said. “When?”
“Now?”
“Are they going to take my picture again? Can you do it without me?”
“No and no,” I said.
“I don’t have a babysitter.”
“Lula can babysit,” I said.
“Say what?” Lula said.
“I’ll call Connie. We can pick her up on the way and immediately get you bonded out again.”
“I guess that would be okay,” Mary Jane said, “as long as I can take the baby. She’s due for a feeding.”
Connie had the office locked and was waiting at the curb when I drove up in Mary Jane’s minivan. We went straight to the court and a half hour later we were back on the road to rescue Lula. I stopped for a light in town and spotted someone who looked like Oswald a block away. He’d cut his hair, but I was pretty sure it was him. Under any other circumstances I would have gone after him, but the baby was fussing in its car seat and Mary Jane was on the phone with Lula explaining how to change Ethan Dale’s diaper.
“Make sure he’s clean,” Mary Jane said. “Use the baby wipes, and if he’s irritated you can put some baby butt salve on him.”
I called Diesel and gave him the news. “I think Oswald is still in Trenton,” I said. “I just saw someone who looked like him. He was walking down State Street, a block from South Broad. The guy I saw had short hair, but he still resembled Oswald.”
“I’m on my way,” Diesel said. “I talked to Melvin right after you left. He’s trying to hack in again, and he gave me what he downloaded just in case there is something legit in it.”
“Morelli got bad news on his national inquiry. Three more victims. Same MO. All out of state.”
“Three problems off our desk,” Diesel said. “Catch you later.”
* * *
Ethan Dale and Benjamin Ryan were watching television when we walked into Mary Jane’s house. Lula was wearing rubber gloves, and she had Lucky Charms stuck in her hair. Considering her latest color and style, I thought the Lucky Charms were an okay addition.