28
ROWAN
Day of the second trial.
I awoke in Orion’s arms again, my legs wrapped tightly around him. I could tell I’d been moving against him in my sleep and that he’d liked it.
For the past three nights, I’d been fighting the sexual torment of being in bed with him but unable to kiss him.
But wrapping my arms around his abs—that was allowed.
We hadn’t spoken about the trial, even if it hung over us like a shadow. This morning, however, there was no way to ignore it.
He turned to me and brushed the hair from my eyes. “Today’s the day we set the city free.”
“We’ll see about that.” My heart kicked up a notch. Over the past few days, I’d done an amazing job of staying focused and compartmentalizing, but now that we were out of time, a million new worries spiraled through my brain. After all, I was Rowan Morgenstern, and whether I was mortal or demon, my brain would offer up the worst-case scenarios on a platter. Without fail.
I looked up at him. “Orion, what if somehow, we fuck this up and lose our chance to get the grimoire? Or what if the demon hunters report us to the federal government, and the feds just bomb the City of Thorns before we get a chance to unlock the spell?” I swallowed hard. “What if our actions kill all the demons? And aren’t you worried I’m going to fuck it all up, and you’ll miss your chance at getting the book?”
He stroked his hand down my spine, slowly. Heat shivered in the wake of his fingertips, making my muscles melt into him all over again. “First of all, I have complete faith in you not fucking it up.” His face was close to mine, our cheeks nearly brushing. “Second of all, the protection spells will hold the City for now. And I don’t think the hunters have enough influence to attack us.”
“Why?”
“Since I took the throne, I’ve been working on isolating the demon hunters from powerful figures. Human politicians are remarkably susceptible to blackmail and various forms of bribery. Money rules the world of mortal power brokers. Campaign donations, threats to fund their opponents. Managing them is honestly much easier than I expected. For now, at least, the demon hunters are on their own. They have no political capital whatsoever.”
My eyes widened. “For an ancient, marginally psychotic demon, you’re surprisingly savvy about the modern world.”
“I love it when you say sweet things about me.” His hand slid up and cupped the back of my neck, and he pressed his forehead against mine. “If you ever decide you trust me, I’m going to fuck you until you beg for mercy. Until you forget your name.”
My core coiled tight, and I fought the urge to kiss him. “Only in you, Orion, is that kind of confidence not misplaced.”
The corner of his mouth twitched—not with a smile, but with something like uncertainty. He was looking at me with an expression I’d hardly seen on him before: vulnerability. His chest rose and fell faster, his heartbeat racing. Orion—the big bad Lord of Chaos—was nervous. “But you’re going to need to know what I did. You’re going to need to know the real me.”
I stared at him and the dark sweep of lashes framing his blue eyes.
My chest ached. “What do you mean? What did you do?” It came out a bit sharper than I’d meant it to. I just wasn’t sure I could handle any more horrific surprises from him.
His gaze shuttered, and he rolled away from me. He rose from the bed, and I found myself staring at his muscular back. “The trial is today, but I will tell you later.”
As I stared at him, I felt like ice was spreading between us, chilling the air.
And something else was bothering me. Something I’d avoided talking about in the past few days. “He really looked like you, you know. The person who came in through the window.”
He turned back to me, one eyebrow raised. “You were half asleep, weren’t you?”
I swallowed hard. “I had a doppelg?nger. Sort of. What if someone else looks like you?”
“Doppelg?ngers are mortal. They don’t have claws.” He turned to me with a frown. “And you exist because Mortana died. I’m not actually dead, as you pointed out.”
I didn’t want to say it, but I had to ask. “It’s just…everyone thought my parents were dead. And they weren’t. You said your brother looked exactly like you—”
“Rowan,” he said sharply. The temperature plummeted. “I saw him die. I will never forget it.”
I let out a long breath. And I saw you attack me.