I hum. “And what does a good storm smell like?”
“Like frozen hell.”
I snort. “That sounds a bit ominous, don’t you think? And besides, the clouds always look like that.”
But Sail shakes his head. “Just you wait. I think it’s going to be a bad one.”
“Should we make a bet?”
Sail nods enthusiastically, but Digby cuts in. “No.”
I swing my head to look over at him. “What? Why not?”
“No betting with the king’s favored,” Digby says, looking over my head to Sail.
I frown. “That’s no fun.”
Digby shrugs. “No having fun with the king’s favored, either.”
My eyes narrow. “Well, now you’re just being mean.”
He shoots me a long-suffering look before he clicks his tongue, making his horse pick up the pace to move past us.
“Don’t worry, my lady,” Sail cuts in. “In this instance, he did you favor, because you would’ve lost the bet.”
I laugh, tipping my head back at the brooding sky. “Now you’re just baiting me.”
He wags his light brows. “Shall we make the wager, then?”
I open my mouth to answer when another woman’s voice cuts in. “A bit juvenile, don’t you think?”
My back straightens at the sound of Polly’s voice. The saddles’ carriage rolls slightly in front of us, Polly’s arm is currently hanging out of the window, her blonde head resting on the crook of her elbow as she watches me with disdain.
I thought that traveling with the other royal saddles might warm them up toward me, might soften the edges of the gulf between us, but it hasn’t. For the most part, we stay separated. I haven’t had more than a passing glance at the others. They stay in their carriages or shared tents, and I stay in mine, and none of them make any attempt to talk to me.
Except Polly.
But it’s not so much talking as it is showing off her clear dislike for me.
“I’m fairly sure that making bets is the second-favorite pastime of men in this kingdom, and they wouldn’t call it juvenile,” I reply.
“Second favorite?” Sail repeats. “Then what’s the first?”
I shoot him a smirk. “Buying time with a saddle.”
Sail laughs shyly, but Polly ruins it by snorting. “And what would you know about it? The king never rides you when he calls for us. You aren’t even a proper royal saddle. He only lets you watch. It’s quite sad, really. You’re just a trophy. Hot-blooded males don’t want a cold metallic bitch in their beds.”
Embarrassment flares into me, all traces of my earlier amusement burned and shriveled away with an ugly flare of degradation. It’s one thing to have to endure watching Midas sleep with others, but for her to throw it in my face, and with Sail and the other guards nearby to hear…
Polly smiles at me, clearly pleased with herself. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep King Midas satisfied.”
Sail shoots me a sympathetic look, but that somehow just makes this all so much worse. Notching my heels against Crisp’s sides, I urge the horse forward. I don’t offer Sail a fake explanation for fleeing as I dart past him and the carriage, there’s no point.
I pass by Polly’s carriage without a look, my teeth gritted and my cheeks searing. Clenching my fingers on the reins, I direct Crisp between the guards in front of us, squeezing my way past them, not caring when their own horses are forced to move over.
Distance. I just need distance.
I veer around horse after horse, not slowing down until I’ve nearly made it to the front of the caravan, far away from Polly and her hateful tongue. As if I could run away from my own disappointments. As if I could avoid my hurts, my shame, my dark thoughts that creep out every time I close my eyes for sleep.
One day, I suspect those plaguing thoughts will want to stop being ignored. They’ll catch up. They’ll slink past me, refusing to be hidden in a tear-soaked pillow or between the cracks of a mirror.
Sooner or later, every troubled thought and aching bitterness is going to come pouring out and demand I face them.
But not tonight.
Not yet.
Chapter Twenty
I let Crisp fall back into a slower canter, the last of my hope of bonding with the other saddles sparking out, like the wet wick of a candle.
Time to accept it, to be glad that at least I have one friend in this travel party. One friend, and one gruff, protective guard who killed a king to save me. That’s much more than I ever expected to have.